Wednesday, July 18, 2012


You know that feeling when you're 10 minutes late to class (maybe later, let's be honest) and you try to sneak in so no one sees you, especially the professor, and the only seats left are the ones in the front row? And then, just as you're tip toeing ever so gently to the empty chair on display, your Jansport backpack mysteriously opens up; vomiting your Five Star notebooks everywhere just as your cell phone starts to ring Pitbull's latest gibberish simultaneously with the notebook vomit? Yeah, hi, that's me. Right now. I'm back from my Sexy Trash unannounced hiatus - and I'm terribly sorry.

I have no excuse except for that I've been hosting and traveling and loving every minute of this summer sun - as well as the fact that a girlfriend recently brought to my attention that I have not seen a commercial in over a year nor do I know any popular movies or TV shows due to my lack of trailer previews - but alas, I am here, and if you're willing to forgive me... I'd like to introduce you to a little thing that I like to call Miss Advised.

Only in it's first season on Bravo, I randomly found this show while searching free things to download on iTunes. The first episode is free - and fabulous, actually. Miss Advised follows three relationship and/or sex "experts" of sorts, except for the fact that they are all tragically single. As a 26-year old woman married almost 2 years, I often think of the random pin my girlfriends tag every once in awhile that says something along the lines of if you get married before you're 25, it's like leaving the party at 10pm. Or whatever. The bottom line is, I often resonate with that as I am snuggled in my pajamas at 8pm, longing for 10pm when I can officially go to bed. However, after watching only 3 of the 5 episodes of Miss Advised I have to say... thank GOD I am married.
If I may throw just one swear in here, these bitches be CRAY. CRAY CRAY in fact. And at the same time, I absolutely love them. Not so much the girl from NYC but hopefully the Ice Queen will grow on me eventually. Who is she? Yes, good idea, let's talk about these crazies:
Amy Laurent
As you'll soon learn, Amy is a successful business woman, owning the streets of NYC with her built-from-scratch matchmaking business. She explains in episode one that she had once been snookin' for love but thought all the match makers she had visited were horrid and she could do a better job. And, from what her clients say on the show, she does. So how is it that a relatively attractive woman in her mid-30's who can pay her own bills and hold a decent conversation is still single? Watch episode 2 like I did last night and any question will be answered within minutes of watching her ice skating date (with the hottest 28-year old I've ever seen, btw).
Emily Morse
A sassy yet sweet baby Jew living the high life in San Fran, chatting day in and day out on the radio about everyone's favorite taboo topic: sex. I have to tell you: I love her. I think she's hilarious; I think her view on life is on point - but obviously, the girl has issues. She has one rule in dating (as she doesn't believe in any others) and that is: Say YES! Go on, girl. Say those yes's. It's just that sometimes, yes lands you a date with Tupac's main man and a crash course in slapping strippers' buns. So, what's her deal exactly? She says yes to everything... except monogamy. As a new watcher and an aspiring counselor, I really think her "story" line will be the most interesting and heartfelt to watch - as well as I pray she has the biggest transformation at the end.
Julia Allison
I'm going out on a limb and saying that Julia is hands down everyone's favorite. She's perky, she's fun - but anything at #1 in the dating world. Julia is super gorgeous, super open, and super, super, super immature and lame when it comes to showing a man she's interested or, even, interesting. Claim to fame? Just Google her. She's an amazing writer, works for Elle, has been published all over the place (including Cosmo, Seventeen, etc) with dating tips and tricks and yet - I literally watched her attack a basketball playing tall glass of chocolate milk for a kiss (she was begging... I really can't even talk about it). However, Julia is relatively aware of her issues and is completely dedicated and focused on figuring them out in her new town of LA - whether that means going to therapy, a psychic, a love coach, what have you. Julia is the show stealer and I secretly hope she gets a spin off. Once she gets her shit together. (Btw, she dated John McCain's son and broke up with him because she didn't think she could follow her dreams as a journalist and be a military wife... I really, really praise her for that!)

So please, forgive me for my hiatus - and if you don't hear from me for awhile know that I am hosting some friends again - but please, check out Miss Advised and tell me what you think! Also, it should be noted that I have been begging our Editor in Chief for years to write a book very similar to this show - essentially, his trials and tribulations with online dating. I beg you to hound him until he has released the first chapter! Until next time... ciao!



  1. I agree with you, I'm loving this show. However, I'd have to disagree about Julia. I'm NOT a fan of her, she annoys the crap out of me! I'd be okay with replacing her.

    Emily is by far my favorite!

    1. Ps. I also love that the Tiz has a hand in this :)

    2. Emily is the best part of this show. She seems cool, and she's the only sane person on the show.

  2. Ugh. I know Jack McCain and the story she told about why they broke up is completely untrue. She actually did some totally psycho stuff to him, and he broke it off very quickly after he realized what she was all about. This girl is total bad news. Crazy and not in a good way.

    I love Emily, however.

  3. love emily, too. amy is cringeworthy, and julia seems stunted in every possible way. my worst nightmare is to have a daughter grow up to be like her.

  4. Really? Julia, everyone's favorite? On what planet and why? For the horrible way she treated the poor guy who helped her with her boxes? For the way she practically sexually assaulted the guy her roommate tried to set her up with? For the way she shamelessly name drops and defines herself according to who she dates, rather than who she (unfortunately) is? Or maybe it's for her impeccable decorating style (though it should be noted that my one-year-old daughter proclaimed that Julia's room was "too babyish" before heading to the computer to start her own advice column. Apparently, Elle is just giving them away).

  5. Bravo Star Is A Former Stripper

  6. OMG! I just watched 4 Missadvised episodes in a row, only because it was such a train wreck I could not turn away (or in this case off)! Emily is great, but Amy and sad to watch two very attractive women, that have ABSOLUTLEY NO SOCIAL SKILLS!! I have to echo, the cringe-worthy statement, as they both make me cringe with their akward behavior, ouch, ouch, ouch. Amy needs to get the stick out of you know where, and in the case of Julia, do we really need another Paris Hilton?? N-O!