Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ryan Murphy Single Handedly Ruined My Life

Dear Ryan Murphy,

Do you do this on  purpose? Was it your plan from the beginning of your career to continuously create television gold only to destroy your creation a season later?

You wet our tastebuds with Popular, introducing us to a smart, snarky high school comedy that we loved to laugh and gasp at. A season later, we were left disappointed. With Nip/Tuck, you waited until the third season to shit all over what we once loved, so for that, we thank you. American Horror Story may be your only saving grace because, as each new season is a whole new story with new characters, we can't see how you could possibly get bored with it. But hey - you're Ryan Murphy; we're sure you'll find a way to fuck it up some how.

But now on to the real reason we are writing this letter... Glee.

The show crossed into "Jumping the Shark" territory after the original 13 episodes, but we still found ourselves rooting for this group of underdogs and still running to our televisions every week to see what trouble Santana would cause or to see what selfish thing Rachel Berry would do. However, although we were still very much hooked, we were also aware that during the three month season one hiatus, something changed. We couldn't put our finger exactly on it, but we knew we didn't like it.

Throughout it's two-and-a-half season run, we found ourselves (on numerous occasions) saying "That's it. We're done. No more. We just can't..." but then a few episodes later, a great group number or a wonderful mash-up or a shocking storyline pulled us back in. But, Ryan, we think once and for all you really, really lost us.

Last night was the "spring premiere" of Glee, and since the winter finale six weeks ago, we were at the edge of our seats waiting for the continuation of the episode. Will Rachel and Finn still get married? What happened to Quinn!?!?!? These questions popped through our heads at least once a day, and we couldn't wait to find out the answer.

So at exactly 8 pm last night, we were horrified to see Rachel and Finn. At a locker. Talking about not being married. ...Did we miss an episode? We quickly checked IMDB to find out. Last time we watched, the episode ended with "To be continued..." sprawled across our screens, so wouldn't it make sense for the next episode to continue only a few short moments after the finale's conclusion? But no, there was a brief time jump... and now we were left with Finnchel drama at the start of the episode, which, to be honest, was only the beginning of the episode's many problems.

A few minutes later, our jaws dropped as a happy Quinn rolled down the hall alongside Artie, stating that her paralysis was only temporary and she'd be dancing and singing by graduation. ...........Ryan, seriously? No hospital scenes? No Quinn-JUST-finding-out-she-can't-walk scenes? We understand that the last episode was a heavy one full of gay bashing, teen suicide, and almost fatal car accidents, so you wanted to go to a happy place in this episode, but Six Flags did not need to be that place.

As stated before, audiences were dying to see if Quinn was dying and waiting to see if Rachel Berry would become Rachel Hudson, but instead we were brought back to an episode about.... Blaine's brother? We're sorry; who?! Sure, some family members of New Directions are important - Quinn's disapproving parents, Rachel's dads, Kurt's loving father, Santana's homophobic grandmother, but a "famous" brother that Blaine has always despised? Mess.

Speaking of messes... we could have done without the Artie/Quinn wheelchair duet, as well as the god-awful rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Fighter." We'd go into details about why it was so bad, but we don't want to see it in our heads ever again. The shower, the intro... we just can't.

We really don't know if you're brilliant or an idiot. There are some moments (the "Glee" pilot) where we worship you, and other moments (last night's episode) where we wish you were tied to the hood of Quinn's car when she was texting...

You tried before, but you couldn't shake us... but this time, congratulations, Mr. Murphy - you really lost us. We'll be watching until graduation because even though we hate you, the members of New Directions really do feel like our friends, so we'd like to celebrate with them as they graduate and become young adults. But we're stopping there because as much as you're ruining the show, we refuse to see how you ruin their futures...

Goodbye, Ryan. Forever.

-Sexy Trash


  1. couldn't agree mooooore. stop it ryan murphy.

  2. i know that's right!

  3. Agreed. Awkward shower scenes should never be seen on Glee again.