Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Save The Oscars From Themselves

The Academy Awards are in trouble, y’all.  This article isn’t the first of its kind.  Tons of entertainment professionals have weighed-in in recent years about how to fix the waning ratings of the industry institution. Anyway, here are my suggestions, so, please, someone take note.

1)      Better Sketches featuring serious actors partaking in cinematic parody hijinks. Essentially, make them more like MTV Movie Awards of yester year. No, I’m serious. Having the host do a wacky opener isn’t enough anymore. The opening sequence SHOULD NOT be the highlight of the entire broadcast, like it has been for several years running.  Everyone takes themselves way too seriously at the Oscars, and that’s why we always find the acceptance speeches that contain a dash of humor (or humiliating unbridled emotion) to be the most memorable. It’s also why the “What’s On Everyone’s Mind” sketch is always so successful. So make it funny, and make the A-listers more involved. People still have Bruce Vilanch’s number right?

2)      Music.  Music in the movies. What is the deal? The academy needs to really look at how original scores in movies are being treated. This category has been on a downward decline for over a decade.  More musical interludes would certainly give it more of a Grammys or Tonys feel, which are widely more successful broadcasts.

3)      Make it visually spectacular.  Remember when Hugh Jackman hosted the 81st AA’s back in 2009? Remember how visually stunning the theater was? That was actually a good year; had a great memorial, great music, great opening. Point is, treat the theater like you’d treat a starlet’s dress, and people will tune in just to see it.

4)      Relevant hosts that are family friendly and aren’t obnoxious. Hosting is a rough gig, and it doesn’t seem to be that rewarding. I don’t understand why we turn the host into a bunching bag. No one wants to do it. In fact, I remember an opener that featured the fact that no one worth half a damn wanted to do it. I think that was the first year Jon Stewart hosted.  But behold, he only did it twice and then headed for the hills!! Ellen herself only did it once. The person(s) just needs to be able to deliver a comedic line; they don’t even need to be that famous! Here’s a list of my recommendations:

·         Sandra Bullock
·         Oprah
·         Seth Rogen
·         Jason Segel
·         Robert Downey Jr and Elizabeth Banks
·         Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
·         Kristen Wiig
·         Justin Timberlake and Kristen Wiig
·         The Muppets
·         Flight of the Conchords
·         Paul Rudd and Betty White
·         Melissa Mccarthy
·         Alec Baldwin with or without Steve Martin, again.
·         In a few years, Emma Stone and Donald Glover could do it.

So, there you go. Take it or leave it.

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