Monday, October 31, 2011

We Didn't Have High Hopes, But Two Months?!

In news that shocks no one... Kim Kardashian and basketball player/douchebag husband, Kris Humphries are getting divorced.

We knew it wasn't going to last, but we at least thought we'd get an E! baby out of it...

And this is not a Halloween trick. It was on E!, so you know this shit's official.

Kim, you should call Reggie. We support it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea, But We Only Want Trouty Mouth...

Ever since the role of Sam Evans was cast on Glee, we were in love. He wasn't even on our screens yet, but we knew we found our new Glee boyfriend in the form of Chord Overstreet.

At the time, Overstreet was rumored to be playing Kurt's new boyfriend. So our heart broke we when found out Sam was...wait for it...straight. Just like real life - all the good ones were straight, leaving us only with the Kurts of the world. No thank you.

But then we got used to the idea of him with Santana. But then Santy went full-blown Lez on us, so we enjoyed Single Sam for a little, we were even okay with Homeless Sam, and we were more than excited for Samcedes (the season 3 romance between Sam & Mercedes). 

What we AREN'T okay with is no Sam at all... we don't know what shit went down this summer, and quite frankly it's none of our business (Chord, call us and tell us...), but when season 3 premiered, we were left Sam-less. And in today's world, that's not okay.

We haven't really been feeling this season of Glee - maybe it's the poor song choices (ENOUGH with West Side Story...), or maybe it's the lack of Sam. If it's the latter, all problems will be solved in the season's 8th episode.

I took this picture on my iPhone when we woke up this morning. Fine, you caught me - I don't have an iPhone.

That's right, bitches - Sam Evans is coming back. Just for an episode, but hopefully it's enough shirtless goodness to fill the void left in our hearts.

Welcome back, Trouty Mouth. We've been lonely without you.

Saturday, October 8, 2011


It's no surprise that our tastes in entertainment is the same as that of a 12-year-old girl. Disney shows/movies, tween stars, the CW, any novel "loosely" based on the lives of the celebrities that wrote them. If it doesn't take talent, we're in. And we won't apologize for it.

But while some of our favorite books include Snooki's "A Shore Thing," Lauren Conrad's "L.A. Candy," and Nicole Richie's "The Truth About Diamonds," there's a new book hitting shelves soon that we're not exactly sure we're going to add to our "Sexy Trash Book Club" list. Fine, it'll be on the book club list. But we're not sure we'll like it. summarizes the book as such:

Dollhouse is an addictively entertaining novel about an exciting, high-profile, complicated family with a huge heart and a lot of love. Written by superstars Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian, Dollhouse is a delicious glimpse that goes behind the glitter of fame into the hearts of three sisters fiercely devoted to one another and the family they love. Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe combined their truly scandalous imaginations with the secrets they know about life in the fast lane to give you a book like nothing you’ve ever read before!
Nothing is more important to the Rameros than family. Just ask Kamille, Kassidy, and Kyle—three beautiful, loving, and deeply loyal sisters who are the heart and soul of their family. Their mother has remarried and their new stepfather, a world-famous all-star baseball player, has come complete with two stepsiblings. Life in L.A. is pretty typical for this newly blended clan.
Until the day everything changes.
Overnight, one of the Ramero sisters has become famous—magazine-cover, fashion-icon, headline-making famous! Trailed by paparazzi, invited to every red carpet event, she has set a new standard for Hollywood royalty.
You’d think that all the glitz and the glamour would make life a breeze. But as the sisters painfully discover, being a celebrity in L.A.’s gilded dollhouse isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Suddenly their problems are much bigger than sharing clothes and discussing crushes. Who knew that having a famous sister would bring up so many issues: jealousy, backstabbing friends, fix-ups, plastic surgery, and paparazzi run-ins, to name just a few. As the sisters deal with their new lives, complete with a televised wedding, crazy nightclub parties, and forbidden step-sibling attraction, there’s a huge secret that threatens to break even their tightest family bonds.
Does it sound juicy? Yes. Does it sound exactly like what we've been watching on television for the past 4 years? Yes.

With Conrad's books, the main character, Jane, is obviously based on the author while her enemy is based on Heidi Montag. Other characters are molded from numerous people she knows, but they aren't as cut and paste as Jane and Madison.

Snooki's book is the opposite situation. The two main characters are exact replicas of herself and JWoww, but instead of putting them on a reality show with other guidos, she set them up as roommates during a Jersey summer, looking for jobs and love.

Kourt, we feel the same way about your book... :(
But with Dollhouse, it's exact replicas of themselves living the exact same plot lines as their lives. We'll read it (and most likely like it), but what's the point, really? We already own Keeping Up With The Kardashians on DVD.... and we'll bet money that in this case, the book is not better than the movie.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Young Adult

When we first heard about this movie, we knew we were in. On paper, it sounded like every movie that should be on ABC Family but somehow finds itself on the big screen that we've ever loved. However, on screen, it's not exactly what we pictured when we heard the plot.

A girl who was popular in high school returns to her small-town home and tries to get back with her high school crush, who is now married with children.

We envision Katherine Heigl, bright colors, perhaps some prat-falls and cat fights between Heigl and the new wife in a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit. What we get is Charlize Theron, almost gritty lighting, and the closest we get to a cat fight is some spilled wine on a white blouse.

This movie (based on the trailer alone) takes the plot of what could be a cliched, overdone chick flick and makes it seem almost... smart. We won't know how true that is until we see the actual movie, of course, but it's definitely something we're excited to find out.

ESPN: The Body Issue

Well, ESPN came out with their Body Issue this week. A.K.A. The "Mom, Don't Bother Me. I'll Be Alone With the Tissues And Vasoline For A Little While" Issue.

It's true that we aren't frequent viewers of the ESPN website nor frequent readers of ESPN Magazine (It IS a magazine, right?). We know there USED to be some sort of ESPN restaurant/bar in Times Square because tourists ask us ALL THE TIME where it is. Bitch, it's been closed for a year. Order some hot wings from Dallas BBQ and go back to your hotel to watch the basketball game. It's a D.I.Y. ESPN. Solves that problem...

But even though this is a website we NORMALLY wouldn't go to... we never say no to oiled up athletes.

Besides Apolo, we don't have one damn clue who any of these men are. But that wouldn't stop us from GETTIN' IT. This makes us almost want to watch sports. Almost.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sophia Grace: Super Bass Bad Ass

We love Nicki Minaj. We love children. We love princess dresses.

Okay, we don't really love British accents, but the cuteness factor of this video ALMOST cancels the accent out...

When one of our biggest fans sent us this video, we KNEW we had a Sexy Trash icon. Sophia Grace Brownlee is everything we want our children to be. Again...except British. 

Sophia can SING THE SHITTTTT out of "Super Bass" and we hope we see more of her. Professionally. Although Nicki Minaj covers > original songs. Let's be honest...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Martyn & Chris Brown's Ass: He RUN IT, RUN IT...

While Chris Brown was beating on Rihanna, someone else was beating on dat ass. Allegedly.

I'm sorry.... who?
According to direct messages sent between R&B singer Martyn and Chris Brown, Martyn confessed to having sex with Chris Brown, Trey Songz, and Omarion. Damnnnnn. Someone was BUSY. It's okay - we can't hate. We wouldn't say no, either, Martyn... as long as it was pre-blonde Chris.

This is his "O" face.
The messages leaked earlier today and were confirmed to be real by Martyn.

One tweet from Chris was reported as saying,"Just cuz we messed around a few times dont mean u shouldnt respect a n----. And n---- I heard bout u hooking with Trey (Songz) too."

Other tweets leaked saying that Chris was the bottom boy in this little shin-dig. Which, let's be serious... we can see it.

But what we CAN'T see is someone who is already so controversial and studied closely by the media to be so careless as to TWEET information about down-low activity. While we'd gladly watch a video of it IF it existed, we're not really believing it.

Poor Martyn probably just needed publicity. Because, frankly, we had to go BUCK on Google to find a picture of him. At least we kind of know who he is now?

Brit Brit Goes Against TOXIC Body Issues

There's a LOT you can say about Britney Spears, and we get it - most of it can be negative. But no matter how good (or bad) she may wail during her songs, you can't say she doesn't have a heart of gold.

The UK radio station, Capital FM reported that in a campaign against Size Zero culture, Brit Brit is joining forces with the Government in hopes that the unedited shots will help to manage kids' expectations about their figure. 

Equalities minister Lynne Featherstone said, "I want children to recognize their value is much more than physical appearance."

While this won't change the world's view of morphed body image issues, hopefully it can make one little girl (or little gay boy) feel better about their own bodies. And let's be serious - change begins with one.

...And that's our serious post of the day. Please stay tuned for regularly scheduled programming.