Thursday, August 25, 2011

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SUITE GIRL!?!?!



Disney's favorite only Asian starlet, Brenda Song ("The Suite Life of Zack and Cody"), is the latest tween star to bite the hand that feeds her by slutting it up. Little London Tipton decided to sneak off with Miley Cyrus's brother (barf) and get pregnant. Now, don't get us wrong - we have nothing against pre-marital sex. By all means, pre-marital sex away. But Disney, and more importantly, the parents of her fans... well, they might have some issues.


It's good that she's keeping the baby; we just wish the father was cuter. But what's done is done. We hope that Brenda doesn't lose her job because of this "pre-marital scandal." We've been thinking about this dilemma since we heard the news, and it led us to look back at other scandalous tween stars:

VANEXXXA

Vanessa Hudgens, star of the High School Musical films, had nude photos leak before filming began for the third HSM movie. Apparently they were sent to the wrong hands (some people say Drake Bell of Nickelodeon's "Drake and Josh," but who knows - we just know it WASN'T to Zac). A statement was released, she apologized, Disney kept her for the third movie, and everything ended well.

THE PUNCH HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

Demi Lovato was on some sort of (alleged) coke binge/eating disorder rampage/unreported addictions which went hand-in-hand with her depression. This + a bad breakup with Camp Rock co-star, Joe Jonas, equals = Punching her backup dancer/Joe's new flavor of the week in the face. We're not going to lie: we were on the fence with Demi until this crazy bitch did this. Now we're Team Demi until her Skyscraper falls down. But did any of this lead to her departure with Disney? Absolutely not. Mama's back and hotter than before with a new heart breaking single and a new album on its way.

BABYYYYYYYY, THAT BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BONG

Miley Cyrus is the queen of tween scandal. Not really, but kind of. Booty shorts during concerts, pole dancing at awards shows. We get it - she can't be tamed. But what REALLY sent parents over the edge was when vudeos of Miley (Miss Cyrus if ya nasty...) taking hits of salvia (a legal drug in California) from a bong hit the internet. Did she lose her job? No, Hannah Montana was already on its way off the air. Did she lose her fans? Maybe... The gays still love her, but little girls have seemed to move on. Miley's latest concert was international only because she wanted to perform for her fans that "truly appreciate her." ...Bitch, Sexy Trash lives in America. You're appreciated here.

4 comments:

  1. ahhh def didn't know brenda was prego! that's nuts!
    <3 stephanie

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  2. I'm hoping Brenda Song is over Disney anyway, since the last time I saw her she was going down on the co-creator of Facebook in a bathroom stall.

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  3. Shelby Wu WOOOOOO...lol Girl's got to move on from the brother's Zack and Cody and move into mommy-hood.

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  4. what a slut..those disney girls fuck eachother's family members and go 360 on their whole cast..no surprise to me. lets wait and see what she pushes out of her vagina..hopefully its cute n not ugly

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