Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Glee Report: Season 2 Finale - "New York"

Today's post comes from "Glee" enthusiast, Sexy Trash follower, and close friend, Sweet Porcelain. Beginning this week and continuing next season of "Glee," he will be doing a weekly "Glee" report, containing all of his thoughts on the current episode. In most cases, we agree with all he says. On the off chance we don't, we'll include our opinion in the review, as well.


I just basically sit and watch Glee with a notepad and jot down all my thoughts. It’s not so much a report as a reflection essay with no punctuation. I’m full of opinions, which of course, are the RIGHT ONES. Try and keep up.

Opening the show, entitled “New York” with “Rhapsody in Blue” was perfect. So quintessential New York. If anything, I wish it was more elaborate and Mike Chang could have had a crazy dance number..just saying.

And Dear Extras, NO ONE JOGS IN Times Square. C’mon. Also, I know everyone hates on it, but I liked that rendition of “Sit Down You’re Rockin the Boat” from the pilot.

Neither Kurt nor Rachel knew that CATS was closed? Really?

Mr. Schue should win an award for being the worse chaperone/coach ever! First off they came to NY without songs being done?! Secondly, you just abandoned 13 teenagers in New York, directly after catching two of them trying to buy alcohol? What did you think was going to get accomplished?

Meanwhile I refuse to believe “CrossRhodes: The April Rhodes Story” is on Broadway. Off Broadway, most certainly- but it ain’t exactly headlining the Imperial.

On another note about chaperones: Why was Schue by himself? None of those parents wanted to go? Including Rachel Barry’s two dads? AND WHY HAVEN'T WE MET THEM YET? They could be full of the conventional wisdom and stereotypical hijinks that make the gays entertainment gold. I digress.

 “My Cup” is NOT as good as “My Headband.” (SEXY TRASH DISAGREES.)

I did like the fun tribute “I Love New York” song (even though the filming of these scenes obviously was the reason I couldn’t cross Washington Sq Park a few weeks back, and at the time it was VERY frustrating). They are forgiven.

In last week’s report I asked for more Boys Club (Sam, Puck, Mike, Artie) and that’s exactly what I got! I love it when they sing, I love it when they don’t sing. Just keep it coming. Sam as hot dork completes my life. He can come live with me.

Matthew Morrison singing a song from his own album? Ohhh poor form, everybody. Shameless self-promotion. We get it, Matt Morr is talented. We get it Mr.Schue is supposed to be wasted talent. Ugh.

Did anyone else notice them playing Gershwin when Rachel and Finn met on the bridge? I love Gershwin, and it’s very appropriate for this episode –in fact they should have had more Gershwin. Gershwin all around, Gershwin for everybody. I loved how they looked like they were in “An Affair to Remember” and it was AWESOME- like if it were its own movie, I’d wanna watch that.

Some people (probably Bernadette loyalists) (OR SEXY TRASH) don’t like Patti Lapone. Well you’re missing out. And her cameo was great. And duh she was in show choir in highschool, she’s Patti freakin Lapone.

Remember Boys Club? Remember when they made your heart swoon by singing romantic ballads? KEEP IT COMING! “Bella Notte”- on a secret note - I hope it opens the Disney flood gates, although, to be honest, when I first heard a Lady and the Tramp song was coming, I hoped it would be “He’s a Tramp”. Don’t worry Glee, there’s still time, you can cover it later. Wait, is Puck playing the accordion?! Yup! That’s totally happening.

I am in full support of Rachel and Kurt as friends. They are like two halves of Audrey Hepburn coming together as one. So I’m okay with it. They WALKED from Tiffany’s to the Gershwin?! in those shoes (yes I’m talking about both of them)!? Pa-lease. Although it’s like I always say… ‘sometimes you gotta bleed for it’.

Thumbs up to dream-encouraging security guards in this episode. It’s a two-fer! Their sage-like ways and quirky mannerisms might just yet replace the role of the sassy gay friend. Hell, I may even go as one for Halloween.

“For Good” is one of the BEST duets in Wicked. I was very pleased they brought it and that these two in particular performed it. I will say this: the simplecut version for TV was damaging to the over-all tone of the song. Sometimes they do this for time constraints, and I wish they’d devote the time to full versions of some songs, even if it meant editing out another song somewhere else. AND WILL EVERYONE PLEASE STOP F*KING CRYING IN THEIR GOD DAMN BALLADS?!?!?! I used to be so anti-Kurt, but he’s really starting to grow on me. And I think it’ a direct correlation to him getting less and less crazy.

MEANWHILE, when the HELL did Quinn go all chicken-killer on everybody? Where is the humanizing we saw in the sweet young face of Loosey Caboosy? P.S. her chicken-killer hair cut looks really cute though. Thank God for the power of a plot-point make-over.

Remember how I said we need more Boys Club? We also need more Cheerios reunion. These three came in as friends, they should go out as friends.

Did anyone else notice the blatant subtext of homoeroticism in the Goolsby-Schuester interactions?

Sunshine needs to go home. It’s not that I don’t like her, cuz I do. And it’s not that I don’t think that she’s talented, cuz she is. But that’s the problem. She’s too likeable, too talented. Rachel would get dwarfed by her. Sorry. (SEXY TRASH DOESN'T THINK SO. WE HATE HER SMUSHED FACE.)

I liked the duet Finn and Rachel performed at nationals. I also liked the other song. I’m kinda over them doing original songs though. It was cute and fun while it lasted. But the time is over now. Let’s go back to covers, it’s what Glee is all about. Well… that... And acceptance.

P.S. Jesse/Blaine was right. That kiss was totes unprofessional and cost them nationals.

Where was Sue btw? Where was Beiste? Where has she been? UNLEASH THE BEISTE!!!!

Saw the Mercedes-Sam thing coming a mile-away. Already bored with it. (SEXY TRASH ISN'T. SAMCEDES > FINNCHEL) My theory is everyone knows and nobody cares enough to say anything. BUT, How is nobody else noticing this? They should take Kurt’s gay-card away. Maybe if he was a NY theater security guard with a ‘I’ve seen everything’ attitude he would pick up on it.

Also, “Pip-Pip Hooray: The Musical” sounds pretty spectacular. (SEXY TRASH THINKS SO, TOO. WE'RE ALREADY WORKING ON IT.)

For my final notes: Heather Morris: who knew she was such a little triple-threat?! I find myself constantly impressed with her acting abilities.

And to Chris: You betta werk for that Emmy gurl.

Finally I’d like to say that they dismissed Jesse too early. The ending of this season was too happy (especially for a show they knew was getting renewed). People don’t like Happy, they don’t like stable relationships –except for in the gays for we are the chosen people-. Happy reminds us of Endings. And that’s what occurred here, it felt like the show was ending. Give us the drama that we crave.

P.P.S. It wouldn’t kill Glee, in the off-season. To maybe do a Webseries called "Fondue-For-Two." Throwing it out there. I’m just an ideas guy.  (SEXY TRASH AGREES. WE SAID THE SAME THING AS SOON AS THE FIRST DRUM BEAT OF THE F-F-T THEME PLAYED FOR THE FIRST TIME A FEW WEEKS AGO.)


  1. this is the greatest thing I have ever read. EVER

  2. LOVED this! Fantastic guest blog, can't wait to read more! I'm definitely on the same wavelengths here except for the that! Needs to be a new couple in the spotlight...ttyn Finnchel.