Tuesday, March 29, 2011

march GLEE-adness WINNER...

And the winner...

It's Brittany, bitch!
 The final round of March Glee-adness has come to an end, and while this was the most votes we've received the whole competition, this round was... sort of a joke.

Every.single.person voted for Brittany S. Pierce.

Which is perfect as today marks the release of Britney Spears' new album, Femme Fatale. Spears (not Pierce) also announced a summer North American tour with Enrique Iglesias this morning.

So Brittany, congratulations. We love you. (Heather Morris, as winner... you have finally recieved your own tag!!)



And Britney - We love you, too. And can't wait to see you.

A big THANK YOU to everyone who voted! We had a blast and this wouldn't have been a success without you!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

March GLEE-adness: FINAL ROUND

The results POURED in this round... and we appreciate it, but...
Oh, hell no. We can't even be cute about this.
God bless you, bitches. Because we would REFUSE to vote...
How do you even choose?

It's like choosing between your children...
It's like that story in the Bible where they cut babies in half.
We just can't do it.
No matter the outcome, we're going to be shocked, disappointed, excited and sad.


PLEASE E-MAIL ALL VOTES TO sexytrashed@gmail.com BY TUESDAY, MARCH 29 at 8 PM.
**Comments have been disabled in this post to keep results a secret until the winner is announced**

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Sucker Punch

At Sexy Trash, we have a tendency to over-excite ourselves for upcoming movies, television episodes and album releases... so much so, that when the movie premieres or the album drops, we're often left underwhelmed and end up forcing ourselves to enjoy it as much as everyone else seems to.

We've been waiting for Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch to come out for what seems like eternity, and while we didn't snoop the web for spoilers or leaked footage (The Roommate, we're looking at you...), our stomachs did flip every time we had to cross a new day off the calendar... because we knew March 25 was quickly approaching and that we were one day closer to the premiere of this movie.

With that said - we can assure you that none of the excitement being poured into this review is forced. And we know for a fact that we enjoy it as much as (if not more than) everyone else.

We are not ones for being bored - and to be honest, we may have ADD. If you don't hook us from the start, we're over it. Sucker Punch has THE BEST opening scene we've EVER seen. With five minutes of hardly any dialogue, we're thrown into a heart-breaking scene that is as beautiful as it is sickening. Add a haunting cover of the Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams" by the film's lead actress, Emily Browning, and you have yourself a pre-credit sequence we will never forget.


The movie follows Baby Doll (Browning), who is thrown into an institution by her step-father. To escape the realities of the asylum and her upcoming lobotomy, she imagines herself in a brothel as she waits for "The High Roller" to come for her. She and her new found brothel/institution friends plan an escape, even though every girl that's ever tried to escape has ended up dead. But, as Rocket (Jenna Malone) says, "We're already dead." The girls are forced to dance for the owner, Blue (Oscar Isaac, who we've never seen before but is very sexy in a Dirty Jerz' creeper kind of way...). When Baby Doll dances, however, she imagines herself as a trained fighter - fighting everything from Samurai giants to Nazi zombies to pissed-off dragon mothers.


The leaping around from reality to reality may seem like a lot, but if you throw yourself into the movie and just let it pull you along for the ride, it's really not. Sucker Punch manages to be fun, heart-breaking, shocking, and sexy while not making you work for it.


While we've never seen Emily Browning in anything, (and after viewing her resume, we don't think we'll go back and watch any of her previous work), she won us over. Hard. In a role originally offered to Amanda Seyfried, we can definitely see the similarities, and hopefully, Hollywood will, too. If Browning keeps doing films like this, we will gladly follow her career.

We're not going to lie and say we're not Vanessa Hudgens fans. We've loved her since High School Musical. But although fans, we aren't brain-dead and we do realize that talent isn't necessarily pouring out of her veins, either. However, as Blondie, she really wow'ed us. True - while, at certain points (a crying scene, in particular), it seems like some acting lessons would do her good, for the majority of the film we were taken back by the sexy, ass-kicking young woman she has become. (And we love anything where previous Disney stars yell "MOTHER F*CKER" at a dragon while shooting guns...)

The bottom line is that the film is a great escape. If you're coming to judge VHud's acting abilities or to debate what was "real" and what was "fantasy," don't see it. If you're coming to be taken away for two hours on a great trip... then, this is the movie for you.

Friday, March 25, 2011

March GLEE-adness: ROUND 3

O.M.F.Glee.

The results are in (again) and we are left with...


BRITTANY vs. BLAINE

 
SANTANA vs. KURT



VOTE WISELY!! We're almost at the end!!
*PLEASE E-MAIL ALL VOTES TO sexytrashed@gmail.com 
All votes are due SUNDAY, MARCH 27 AT 6 PM

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

march GLEE-adness: ROUND 2

The results are in!!! After tallying the votes, we're ready for Round 2!

Kicked out of Round 1 were:

-The divas (Mercedes and Rachel)
-The Asians (Mike and Tina)
-The new kids (Sam and Lauren)
-The glorified extras (Quinn and Artie)

LEAVING US WITH:

-The Glee Club studs (Finn and Puck)

-The Cheerios (Brittany and Santana)

-The gays (Blaine and Kurt)

-The adults (Sue and Will)

Who will make it to Round 3?

Cast your votes in the comments below or in an e-mail form to sexytrashed@gmail.com.

ALL VOTES ARE DUE BY MIDNIGHT BETWEEN FRIDAY MARCH 25 AND SATURDAY MARCH 26.


PUCK vs. BRITTANY
BLAINE vs. SUE
FINN vs. SANTANA
KURT vs. WILL

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure

We're not gonna lie... this looks awful.



HOWEVER - we've watched and loved Sharpay in the first three High School Musical movies, and we're not about to stop now. We love this character whether she's dancing with her gay brother on a ladder or trying to push some British bitch off of a stage. She's just... well, fabulous.


But this nonsense about her dog getting a role on Broadway and not her? We're not really a fan. We know what it's like to move to New York and have your dreams shit on and have no money... so, we're hoping this will ease our pain... but really, this bitch is better than this. We know what she's capable of... Of course we'll still watch/buy it (we need to complete our collection!), but we just wish the story was better.

After all, Ashley Tisdale deserves only the best. Honestly, we would watch A.Tiz in a Lifetime movie about Bindi Irwin (and we don't like Lifetime movies OR Bindi Irwin...), so that's saying something.

Also - we wish that her love interest in this movie was cuter. How can you go from Zefron to...that? Yikes.

Kaboom

In what can only be described as "The most WTF movie we've ever seen," Kaboom is a movie that changes tone/plot more often than we change underwear (which isn't a lot, but still... this movie brainfucked us...and not in a good Black Swan way, but more in a roofied-and-wake-up-the-next-day-in-a-pizza-parlor kind of way...)

The movie starts out fine. A sexy "I don't like labels" (read: bi-sexual) guy (Thomas Dekker) fantasizes about his college roommate, sleeps with some girl on the side, meets some guy at a party. It's all fine and very American Pie with better, snarkier dialogue.


And then comes the drug scene.

At a party, our resident sexy bi guy does some kind of drug. On the way home, a girl runs up to him in a panic, asking for help as she slips something in his pocket. Men in animal masks are chasing her. He gets knocked out as the two run from the animal men. It's too much for us to handle, to be honest...

The next morning, he wakes up in his bed. Was it all just some bad trip? Maybe... he begins searching for the girl he met the night before and finds himself in the middle of... well, we don't want to give too much away, but...

In the following blurb, only one of these is a lie:

Witchcraft, the end of the world, kidnapping, numerous murders, a conspiracy theory, mixed up identities and a threesome.

Okay...none of those are a lie. It's just a hot mess of a movie... One that we're not sure if we liked or not. We'll definitely buy it on DVD, if that means anything? Whatever. Judge for yourself:


march GLEE-adness

It's March!!! We know what that means - straight men everywhere are glued to their televisions, evauluating and re-evaluating their brackets to see which teams will make it to the final two. But what about us that couldn't care less about basketball unless it's being sung about by Zac Efron??



It leaves us making brackets for other things, obviously...

So while some of our favorite blogs are having TV Madness to battle over which TV show reigns supreme, or our favorite channel is hosting Alpha Male Madness to decide which TV star is the sexiest, or our favorite radio station is debating which teen star is the best with their Teen Queen brackets, we decided to battle it out over something that's very near to our hearts...

glee (please sing that like the theme song, because we did.)

Below is our bracket for march glee-adness round one. Please pick your favorite character from each category and cast your vote in a comment or by e-mailing us at sexytrashed@gmail.com.


VOTES FOR ROUND ONE ARE DUE MIDNIGHT BETWEEN WEDS. MARCH 23 and THURS. MARCH 24.

Rachel vs. Puck
Brittany vs. Tina
Blaine vs. Artie
Lauren vs. Sue
Mercedes vs. Finn
Santana vs. Mike
Kurt vs. Quinn
Sam vs. Will

**Simply copy & paste the above "brackets" into your comment/email and leave only who you want to win - yes, it's that easy!!**

Monday, March 14, 2011

Red Riding Hood

It's true - Red Riding Hood has a lot going for it right off the bat. Amanda Seyfried, a retelling of a classic fairy tale, werewolves... just reading about it, we knew we'd love it. Then trailers began appearing online and on the big screen and just confirmed what we thought earlier - we'd love it. Fast forward to March when it arrived in theaters. We went in with excitement at an all-time high, and while that can sometimes ruin a film, in this case, it just made it that much better.

While most critics are eating this movie alive, we've never associated ourselves with other critics - and for good reason. Most movies (and books, TV shows, plays, etc...) we love are torn apart by them, and most movies (and books, TV shows, plays, etc...) that put us to sleep are praised by critics and awarded by various awards shows. So if you came here to read a review tearing this movie apart, you can go somewhere else...


Part romance, part thriller and part mystery, Red Riding Hood follows Valerie (Seyfried), a girl from a small village that is being tormented by a werewolf. Other blogs have said it, and we agree - Valerie seems to be the same character that Seyfried plays most often, but only in a red cloak. Mostly, we were reminded of Needy Lesnicki from Jennifer's Body, but perhaps that's because of the sex scenes and horrified expressions Seyfried pulls off so well in both movies. Valerie's in love with Peter, a boy from the wrong side of the tracks...well, town... although she's engaged to Henry, an equally good-looking, but richer man. (Um... what's the problem, sweet cheeks? Do them both.)

Henry looks a little Cullen-esque in this picture, but we promise he's hot...

If love triangles weren't enough for Valerie to worry about, things get worse when her sister ends up dead - the first casualty in werewolf attacks in a long time. The town goes crazy and the men of the village plan an attack Beauty & the Beast-style. Carrying torches and knives, they head to the cave where they think the Beast...er, werewolf... lives and kill a wolf. Bringing its head back on a stick, they throw a celebratory festival. Things go great - a little roll in the hay (literally) for Valerie, some dancing - until the wolf attacks. Guess that head didn't belong to the right wolf. Oops. The wolf attacks some people, jumps on some rooftops and then - in the worst part of the movie, and the only part that left us saying "REALLY?", it speaks to Valerie. Not by opening its mouth like Babe, the pig, but by mental telepathy or some shit. We're not really sure.


But because Valerie can speak to werewolves, the village decides she's a witch and decide to use her as a sacrifice to the wolf. We won't say anything plot-wise after this scene because this is where things get great, and quite frankly, we don't want to ruin things.

Romance-wise, we were invested. We would have been happy with Valerie choosing either one of her gentleman callers. Unlike other werewolf love triangle movies directed Catherine Hardwick where there is CLEARLY only one smart decision...

Thriller-wise, we can honestly say we jumped on more than one occasion.

Mystery-wise, we were left guessing the werewolf's identity until the final reveal. And we were still wrong.

As long as Amanda Seyfried keeps starring in things and Hollywood keeps making fairy tale remakes, we'll watch everything that involves all of the above...using the big eyes we have.