Thursday, January 20, 2011

Spiderman: Turn Off Your Brain

Yes, it's been a while since we saw Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark on Broadway. (We saw it January 4...and it's now the 20.) Were we slacking in the blog writing department? No. It just took us 16 days for our brain to process what it witnessed...

We're not sure what show Oprah is gushing over... because if it's the same Spiderman we saw, we're never listening to her again and we'll boycott any book that ever makes her list. Anyone that could say this show is "great" is out of their mind.

This is AWFUL and a one way ticket to hell, but we spent the show praying that the show would suffer one of its infamous "technical difficulties" so that we could at least be entertained... Is that rude?

It's really a shame that the music/script were so bad because the actors were good in their roles and select set pieces were amazing. Although we'd prefer if Peter Parker had a shirtless scene, we'll settle for Reeve Carney in tight pants. The show might have sucked, but we're not blaming you for it, Reeve... You're one of our new Broadway crushes - just do yourself a favor and find a new show. We hear Rent is coming back - why don't you try that? We won't even ask you for a refund on our Spiderman ticket. You can make our $80 back to us in other ways. Wink wink.

While some of the set was bedazzling, the set designers should really have decided on which direction they wanted to take the set artistically: some pieces were made to look hand-drawn and comic book-ish, while other pieces were very much life-like. Pick one because switching between the two just looks tacky...

But the music was just so bad. There is not one memorable song that audience members can leave the theater singing... unless of course it's the chorus to the tune that a chorus line of spiders sing about high heels. While they wear high heels. No, we aren't kidding. There's a chorus line of spiders. In high heels. It may be one of the only things about this show that isn't leaving our memory anytime soon... And rumor has it that Bono refuses to rewrite/add any new songs. Well, isn't that nice?

But really - we understand you may want to see Trainwreck: The Musical, but save your money. We're sure there will be a bootleg one day. Don't ask us for it, because we're not wasting $10 for a DVD of this show... but some poor sap somewhere will make the mistake of buying it, and we're sure that once they do, they'll BEG you to take it out of their hands.

1 comment:

  1. I was done after....."a chorus line of spiders sing about high heels. While they wear high heels."

    My face is still in...."excuse me, what?" position.

    Not rushing to NYC for that anytime soon, thanks for saving me sexytrash.