Monday, October 18, 2010

Hop up out the bed, turn my swag on...

To be honest, you are all lucky you are getting a blog out of me at all. Am I angry with you - my fans? Of course not. But this video renders me SPEECHLESS. As I'm typing this, I'm shaking and shivering like Leo in the final scenes of "Titanic." But instead of Celine belting away, I got this 9 year old bitch, fierce as SHIT, whippin' it around like it ain't no thing.

Anyone that can wear her weave in a HEART gets an "A+" in my book. Which is why I wish I was an elementary school teacher. George W. would be proud... No child would truly get left behind. As long as they could style that weave, they passin' with flyin' colors.

My walls are white and boring, and I've been debating a a paint job. Willow has inspired me to use my hair as the brush it's meant to be.

There was a time in my life (4 hours ago) when I wanted to be Nicki Minaj for Halloween. An orange bob, some self tanner, a little leather... NYC party go-ers wouldn't have known what hit them. But now, Nicki's out. Willow's in. Make room on the dance floor, bitches, because Mama needs some whipping room.

Inspiring and fierce, Willow owns my soul. And heart. And feet. And most importantly, my weave. Will I whip my hair ever again thinking of Beyonce or the cast of Glee? The answer is a loud and well-defined NO.

It is truly saying something when Jada Pinkett is the weakest link in your family tree.... it means your branches be ROCKIN'.

From here until the end of time (2012), whenever head whipping is done, Willow Smith will be thought of. And for good reason. She's 9 and owning gay dance floors.

By the time she's 21, she'll own the world.

Whip it real hard...

Willow - Whip My Hair from Chris Porter on Vimeo.


  1. This is one of your bests posts to date. I'm in love with everything.

  2. jada is the weakest link? you must mean jaden, the star of the karate kid remake.

  3. Grrrlfriend best start selling some expsensive azz weave for all the flygrrrlz in the pwojectz. Dat shit'z gonna be sewed with motherfucking golden unicorn hair...that's how dope she is.