Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Rocky Horror Glee Show

While some people were anxiously awaiting this year's Britney episode of Glee, (READ: me) others were setting their sights on this week's tribute to the cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (READ: me...again.) Do not be confused by my excitement of both episodes - while Brit Brit and Rocky may be on opposite ends of the musical spectrum (are they, though?), Glee is the melting pot that brings them together.

The Rocky Horror GLEE Show, which can also be titled "Hallo-Glee-n" (by me...), was one of the better episodes this season (and honestly, of the whole series.) Musically and plot-wise, this episode was a hit. And as far as tributes go, there were some great nods to the original, which made my heart even warmer.

Musically, they used all of the hits from the movie/show. Except the Floor Show. Why "Rose Tint My World" wasn't in the episode, but "There's A Light (Over at the Frankenstein Place)" was, I'll never know. But besides that - "Time Warp," "Toucha, Toucha, Toucha, Touch Me," "Sweet Transvestite," "Damn it, Janet" ... They were all there.

My favorites?

"Sweet Transvestite" - Although I was not happy with the fact Mercedes played Frank (and if any bitch tried to steal the MALE LEAD of a show I was in, I would have her KILLED), her interpretation of the song had me FLOORED. I love a sassy black woman when she can own a track. I REALLY LOVE a sassy black woman when she can add her own flava to a track I already loved.

"Toucha, Toucha, Toucha, Touch Me" - It is no surprise that Emma sounds like a drowning, breathy cat when she sings. I think it's time they gave this mousy bitch some vocal lessons and/or put "no singing on the show EVER" in her contract. With that said... the performance of this song had me rolling on the ground like a creature of the night. Shirtless Will, Santana & Brit watching from a window in the Colombia/Magenta roles. It's too good.



Plot-wise, while it wasn't the BEST we've had, I think it WAS the best as far as tribute episodes go. There were no dentist-inspired dream sequences nor a "Madonna must be played throughout the whole school" rule. There were just high school students doing Rocky Horror for their school's musical. Easy enough.

I also enjoyed the "boys can have a bad self image" plot line. Some boys do have poor body image, no matter how buff or toned they may be. And it was good to see it. Anyone can turn on Gossip Girl and see Blair vomit after eating a whole Thanksgiving pie, but it's refreshing to see that sometimes boys can feel bad about how they look, also. I don't think they show would ever go this route... but I wouldn't be opposed to a Sam eating disorder. And if this is getting too real for you - in a time when Gleeks around the world are all but slaughtering the photographers at GQ over a "Is it or isn't it controversial?" photo shoot (Answer: It's not), it was nice to show that Glee producers can sexify their male cast members as well..
Sam pinching the fat that the Cool Ranch Doritos gave him. Currently my desktop background...



Okay... fine, screw the body image plot line. It was just nice to look at.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

What Good Is Being A Survivor When All Your Friends Are Dead?

I've seen a few fan-made "Scream 4" trailers, and to be honest...editing-wise, I like some of them better. But this is "Scream 4," and I'll take all the footage I can. Especially if the extra footage includes new rules!! and dialogue from Kristen Bell and a funny scene from everyone's Pretty Little Liar, Aria. (I'd do that shit, too... ain't no messing with prank callers. Hand that shit offfff.)

I'm not sure how I feel about the "Killer films his deaths" aspect of this movie... I feel like it's Urban Legends 2. Didn't see it? I'm not surprised, there was a reason for that... But no matter how great/good/ok/bad/terrible this movie is, I'm going to be shaking as I stand in line to see it. Preferably at midnight on Thursday, April 14. And preferably in costume. No, not as Ghostface. As Drew Barrymore, obviously...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Hop up out the bed, turn my swag on...

To be honest, you are all lucky you are getting a blog out of me at all. Am I angry with you - my fans? Of course not. But this video renders me SPEECHLESS. As I'm typing this, I'm shaking and shivering like Leo in the final scenes of "Titanic." But instead of Celine belting away, I got this 9 year old bitch, fierce as SHIT, whippin' it around like it ain't no thing.

Anyone that can wear her weave in a HEART gets an "A+" in my book. Which is why I wish I was an elementary school teacher. George W. would be proud... No child would truly get left behind. As long as they could style that weave, they passin' with flyin' colors.

My walls are white and boring, and I've been debating a a paint job. Willow has inspired me to use my hair as the brush it's meant to be.

There was a time in my life (4 hours ago) when I wanted to be Nicki Minaj for Halloween. An orange bob, some self tanner, a little leather... NYC party go-ers wouldn't have known what hit them. But now, Nicki's out. Willow's in. Make room on the dance floor, bitches, because Mama needs some whipping room.

Inspiring and fierce, Willow owns my soul. And heart. And feet. And most importantly, my weave. Will I whip my hair ever again thinking of Beyonce or the cast of Glee? The answer is a loud and well-defined NO.

It is truly saying something when Jada Pinkett is the weakest link in your family tree.... it means your branches be ROCKIN'.

From here until the end of time (2012), whenever head whipping is done, Willow Smith will be thought of. And for good reason. She's 9 and owning gay dance floors.

By the time she's 21, she'll own the world.

Whip it real hard...

Willow - Whip My Hair from Chris Porter on Vimeo.

Monday, October 11, 2010

PREVIEW IN REVIEW: "I Am Number Four"

I recently heard of this movie only because a friend of mine is an extra in it. All he told me was "it has Quinn from Glee and it's about aliens." Although I LOVE Quinn Fabray and wish she would get some more air time this season (we'll talk about that in another post, though...), he wasn't selling it. Even when he said, "It's actually a lot better than it sounds," I didn't believe him.

I put the movie in the back of my mind because I had already made my decision. MAYBE I would watch it illegally on a rainy/snowy day, but $13 of my hard earned cash would never be spent seeing it in theaters. And then I saw "The Social Network," (which we'll also talk about in another post...), which had a preview for "I Am Number Four." And my mind changed. I'm now ready to put $13 in a sealed envelope until opening night... just so I know I will have the money available when the time comes.

Although only a teaser trailer has been released for "I Am Number Four," it looks as though someone or something is hunting down aliens... or people with powers... or things with powers. Whatever these 9 escapees are, something is killing them one-by-one, and now our two leads are trying to get away.

Will this movie do for aliens what "Twilight" did for vampires? Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not. But it still looks amazing and legitimately good... and sorry, even better.... than "Twilight." Yes, I have a Team Jacob cup, but I still have enough sense to say that "Twilight" is pretty crappy. Fun crap, but crap none-the-less... Who knows how this movie will turn out. The trailer looks great, but we've been tricked by trailers before...

Although I wouldn't know the lead male, Alex Pettyfer, if he bit me on the ass (and based on looks alone, he is most certainly allowed... I just wouldn't know him), Dianna Agron is hit or miss. She's always beautiful, but sometimes I love her as Quinn, sometimes I hate her. Sometimes her acting is brilliant, sometimes it's less than stellar. I hope that as a high school student in love with a fugitive alien (I'm guessing?), she turns the acting dial up a notch... because it's probably a tougher role to play than a singing pregnant high school Republican.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Country Strong

Do I like country music? Jesus, no. But I DO love movies about celebrities. Especially dramas. And I love rehab, too. Well, I've never been there... or suffered an addiction. Unless internet porn can be an addiction (which... it can be, I saw the True Life on MTV), but I love movies and TV shows and books about rehab and addiction. I even read "A Million Little Pieces" even after Oprah ripped the author a new asshole for lying about it being non-fiction. In short, besides country music, this movie looks promising.

And we all know Gwyneth Paltrow can sing. Anyone that saw "Duets" knows this. (Fine, I never saw it... and I don't know much ...aka: anything... about the movie, so I don't know if anyone else saw it, either.) But her song with Huey Lewis, "Cruisin" was all over the radios circa 2000. So the fact that her voice will be on screen (perhaps radios) again sometime soon makes my life that much better.

And let's face it - the woman can act. Especially in dramas. Perhaps comedies aren't her bag (Sorry, Shallow Hal...), but music superstars pulled out of rehab to refocus their career doesn't really state "comedy gold" to me, anyway... So, I think we're safe. To make the movie even more promising (especially to a younger crowd), Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl) stars alongside Paltrow and Tim McGraw as a young beauty queen turned country star. She may only have a few lines in the trailer, but the role seems like it could be a fun one. Perhaps even one that will be fun to re-enact when I'm intoxicated? Well, I can't go that far... I'll need to see the movie first.

"Easy" Gets an "A" In My Book


While "Easy A" jumped to the top of my "Must See" list long before the film hit big screens, we all know that sometimes great trailers don't necessarily mean great movies. And sometimes interesting casts don't mean interesting movies. And sometimes clever plot synopsises don't mean clever plot during the movies. But you get it - there can be a lot of hype for a movie, but when it comes time to see it in theaters with a tub of popcorn cradled in your lap and your honey...or best friend...or unnamed movie date who you're settling for just because you want to see said movie...is next to you - well, sometimes the movie just sucks. And you are left saying "Why the F did I ever agree to see 'The Happening?'" However, in the case of "Easy A," I was left with nothing but cinematic pleasure.

When early teaser clips hit the internet, the "Pocketful of Sunshine" clip was on repeat on my computer for days. And somehow the song because #1 most played on my iPod. I was obsessed, and I NEEDED to see the movie even more than I had previously wanted to. It was no longer a "want," it was a "need." While nothing extra is added to the clip in the actual movie, this scene is still one of my favorites/one of the funniest parts, and the song becomes a long-running gag in the film.


Emma Stone is flawless in this movie, and if her IMDB has anything to say about it, this young woman is going to be the new queen of Hollywood. With seven new films currently in production, we are bound to see MUCH more of her very soon - enough to get sick of her face? I hope not. Emma has made it on to my list (alongside the good graces of Kristen Bell, Sarah Michelle Gellar, etc.) and honestly, she'd have to put out some seriously bad shit to leave the list anytime soon. Her dry sarcasm is a perfect fit for this role, and she really works the emotional scenes, as well - showing that we have a full-fledged actress on our hands. Some comedic actresses can work the slapstick like a whore workin' the streets, but when it's time to get real, fail miserably. Stone, however, does not disappoint.


The CW let "Easy A" borrow some of their talent and, for different reasons, I left the theater giving the network my endless praise. Although I love "Hellcats," I often find myself asking "Where the hell did this bitch come from?" when I think about Aly Michalka starring in her own show. Sure, Aly & AJ. But wtf is that, really? Why is she relevant on my CW screen, and more importantly - why is she relevant on the BIG SCREEN? Well, this film answered all of my questions. Although only a supporting character, Michalka OWNS the comedy she is given (which is some pretty great material), and left me wanting more. Her character is one of my favorites, and a part of me hopes this character gets her own spin-off movie.

Get it, (Gossip) Gurlllll.
The other CW implant is Penn Badgley (Gossip Girl), and I could not tell you why, but "Woodchuck Todd" is far sexier than Dan Humphry has ever been. His acting is fine, but really - his looks, which I've never been a fan of before, are what sold Badgley to me in this film. Perhaps it's the blue body paint? I don't know. I'm not asking questions... The body wants what the body wants.


Anyone who knows me know that the thing I don't enjoy when going to the movies is anyone over the age of 25 on my screen. Sure, the actor can be older than 25, but character-wise, I want them to do this Rachel McAdams-style, and play a high schooler until they have grey hair. With that said - Olive's parents (played BRILLIANTLY by Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson) deliver some of the best lines in the movie, and portray the characters with such love for their daughter that it's hard not to not feel the same way for them. I've seen great movie parents before, but if I were to be adopted by a movie family, I'd want it to be this one.


Emma's sarcasm, the parents's love, Penn's body, Aly's comedy... there was a lot to love about this movie. What I didn't love was Amanda Bynes in her last (maybe? maybe not?) feature film... which is shocking because I ADORE her in "Hairspray" and she used to crack me up on "All That" and "The Amanda Show." But something about her puffy face and forced crying wasn't working for me in this movie. Sorry, Bynes-y, maybe next time. If there is a next time? 

Overall, I loved the movie 100%. Is it the new "Mean Girls?" I can't say because this movie is still too fresh in my head/heart, and I don't want to make any harsh statements I'll regret later... but what I CAN say is - if it's NOT the new "Mean Girls," it comes pretty damn close.