Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The CWoncert You've All Been CWaiting For...

When I was but a young child around the age of 11 or 12, I went to Nickelodeon's "All That And More Musical Festival." Random bands played: B*Witched, ATeens, Blaque, LFO, etc. etc. etc. Nick Cannon MC'ed it. It was pretty much everything 12-year-old me could have asked for.

And I'm sure Nickelodeon raked in some cash money doing that tour, as well.

Disney does ALMOST the same thing... having the JoBros open for Miley, having Demi open for the JoBros... they know how to pimp out their talent when it comes to multi-city tours.

"American Idol" does season tours. "Glee" had a national tour. "So You Think You Can Dance" even goes on tour every season. Obviously, FOX has seen the money making light...

So, here we are... my biggest question in life... Are you there, God? It's me, Sexy Trash... If you are, please make a CW Tour happen.

Below are the following CW stars that dabble in music, as well...

Leighton Meester, Blair in "Gossip Girl," obviously...

Taylor Momsen, Little J in "Gossip Girl" is in a "band" and "sings."
(I'm sorry about the mess... those spots on your computer screen are chunks of my vomit...)

Jessica Lowndes, Adrianna in "90210"
Bethany Joy Galeotti, Hayley in "One Tree Hill"

Now that "Hellcats" is around, the network has Ashley Tisdale and Aly Michalka (of Aly and AJ fame) at their disposal...

And as the Emmys showed, Nina Dobrev, (Elena in "The Vampire Diaries") does SOMETHING with singing. I'm not sure why she was in the performance number because she
A. Has nothing to do with the Emmys
B. never really seemed to be a singer, but if she is... put this bitch on the CW tour.

So my question is... with all of these singing leads in their shows, why the dickens hasn't there been a CW tour? Tweens and Gays and Gay Tweens would fill those seats quicker than Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush's marriage. And if not... at least I'd be there. That has to count for something.

It makes me think that someone at the CW isn't doing their job. Sure, the shows are bringing in good (enough) ratings to stay on the air (for now.) And I know that the CW's target audience IS a fickle one... high school girls. They're number one fans now, but can turn on you faster than you'd like to believe, leaving shows like "Grosse Pointe" (RIP) in the dirt...

But who cares? For now, these bitches love "Gossip Girl" and "90210," so take advantage of it, milk their daddies for all they're worth and get me a CW concert!

I've been a CW fan since it was the WB, for God's sake...

...By the way, I only posted this so I would have an excuse to put up Jessica Lowndes's new song... So, if you get nothing else from this blog, at least watch that video.


  1. I would love to see this concert! I would love it just for the fact of Tiz, Aly, and Leighton all in the same place.

  2. I would totez go to dis shitfest disaster! But only if 78Violet (formerly known as Aly & AJ) would sing their non-hit single "On the Ride" from that dumbfuck "Cowbelles" movie.

    Oh...and only if I could personally call out Taylor Monster on being the biggest phony this side of Asslee Shitson.

  3. I didn't mind that Taylor Momsen song lol. Though I'm sure that's about as far as her talent ranges.

    And you are forgetting the headliner of this tour....TYRAAAAAAAAA.

    Do you not remember season two of American's Next Top Model?? The challenge was to be a back up dancer for her music video!!

    And Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is not allowed on this tour. No country bumpkins allowed.