Choosing between two very important things is hard. I know I have been known to get myself in Zack Morris-like situations where I have double booked myself, but still want to see both people I made plans with. Yes, it involves a lot of lying (which SexyTrash does NOT condone), but sometimes it's necessary. I don't want any hurt feelings, and honestly - having the thrill of playing this little secret agent game of sneaking out of one movie theater and into another for a few minutes is fun. But we've all watched our share of romantic comedies and "Save By The Bell," and we know these situations never end well. You're always discovered.
Both of your dates found out about the other and are demanding you choose ONE. So, what's your choice? The friend who's been there for you for a while now and that you share many memories (both good and bad, full of many laughs and gasps)? OR the guy that's new in town - you don't know much about him, but he offers many surprises and promises you won't be let down?
Who do you choose? Who do you choose?!
And what happens when ANOTHER old friend enters the mix, offering the same memories of laughs and gasps as your other old friend? It's a love triangle, no - love square - that you've gotten yourself into and you don't know the way out.
Luckily, with today's technology we don't need to get ourselves in Zack Morris situations (when it comes to TV, anyway... good luck with your boy troubles, though.) Sure, we'll have to choose which show to watch at its original time - our returning favorites (the old friend) or a new show (the new guy in town), but we also have the ability to go on a date with the other AS SOON AS Date #2 is over.
For you sick bitches that don't have DVR (or haven't had the pleasure of watching TV online), I'm making it easy for you with a Sexy Trash Fall TV Guide...
These are only shows that Sexy Trash wants to watch, so you will not be finding any crime dramas or anatomies of the Gray variety...
**Italicized shows indicate NEW programming.
This font color indicates shows you should watch LIVE as opposed to DVR'ing.
90210 (The CW, Premiere: Sept 13)
When we were RUDELY left with a cliffhanger ending, Naomi was being raped by her teacher that she already falsely accused of sexual harrasement. No one is going to believe my princess, and that is heart breaking.
In other bad teacher news... Mr. Matthews was under the influence and crashed the school's shuttle bus.
Annie tells her parents (who are in the middle of discussing a divorce) that she "has something to tell you..." SHE KILLED A MAN AND KEPT IT A SECRET FOR A YEAR. I just have to say... Thank Heavens this is finally coming out. I was so over this storyline.
I'm not sure how these cliff hangers are going to unravel when my favorite zip code returns to me on Sept. 13, but I DO know it involves THE START OF SENIOR YEARRRRRR. And an earthquake. Hopefully one that kills Jasper. Or Annie. Or the rapist teacher. Or all three...
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, Premiere: Sept 20)
Gossip Girl (The CW, Premiere: Sept 13)
Now that B is "done with Chuck for good" (which I hope is true), I hope that we can expect the Wicked Bitch of the (Upper) East (Side) that we've all come to know and love instead of the mopey love sick semi-bitch she became in season 3. Fingers crossed, ladies...
Speaking of Chuck, when we left him at the end of season 3, he was shot and left for dead in an alley way. Will he die? Obviously not. Why? "Because... I'm Chuck Bass." And because anyone that's ever watched television knows this is just how this works. What will this mean for B & C's relationship? Hopefully nothing. You're over, he was shot - so what? Keep on moving, B. It's better for you, it's better for all of us.
So why is Gossip Girl not on the "Must Watch LIVE" list? While I'm not over Gossip Girl like many former fans are, I don't mind catching it the next day.
The Event (NBC, Premiere: Sept 20)
I'm interested to see how the stories tie together, and I want to know what the Event is...
However, with that said - the idea of this as a TV series makes me nervous. I wish it was a movie or a mini-series, because I feel like shows like this that last a long time are not what they were when they started. I see this going one of two negative ways...
1. The show leaves questions unanswered until the very end (a la "Lost,") but brings so many other questions up throughout its run that we forget which questions we want answered the most. Also, so many plot twists and new questions could make this show something totally different than what it started out as.
2. The show answers all of its questions within 1-2 seasons (a la "Veronica Mars,") which leaves the next season with a new mystery to introduce... a new mystery that fans don't care about as much and leads the show to an early cancellation... (I'm looking at you, Hearst College rapist...)
Glee (FOX, Premiere: Sept 21)
In fact, if this show was on ANY other timeslot, it would be italicized right now as a "Must Watch LIVE!" selection (okay, maybe not against Hellcats and maybe not against 90210...), but putting it against Glee? Are they out of their minds? Sure, one would think that a show about super heroes isn't exactly the same target audience as the obsessive theater geeks that watch Glee... and for the most part, they are probably correct. But here at Sexy Trash, we own Heroes, Glee, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and High School Musical on DVD. To put it simply, we're well rounded. And we'd enjoy to watch this AND Glee. But since someone is out to get us, "No Ordinary Family" gets put on our "Must DVR" list, instead...
Hellcats (The CW, Premiere: Sept 8)
Ever since A.Tiz posted the news of her casting on her Twitter (yes, I follow Ashley Tisdale on Twitter. Please don't 1. Act surprised or 2. Judge me), I've been counting down the days until this premiere. And now, with it only one week away, I am shaking with excitement and planning routines to every Jock Jams remix I've ever heard.
Cheerleading. CW drama. A poor girl who doesn't want to cheerlead but sees no other choice. Ashley Tisdale. This could easily become my new favorite show, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. What I'd like to happen is for Ashley Tisdale to be the resident bitch, but sadly, I'm not seeing it...
In fact, I'm just seeing "Bring It On" as a TV show with Ashley Tisdale playing Torrence and Aly Michalka as Missy. Which I am more than fine with....
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, Premiere: Sept 9)
Friday nights are where TV comes to die. Nothing worth watching is ever on (except "Ugly Betty," but that has come and gone...)
So, do one of two things.
1. You've been watching TV all week. Get a life.
2. You've been living your life all week. Catch up on your DVR'ed shows.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Premiere: Sept 25)
Jane Lynch is hosting the third episode of the season, but other hosts/musical guests have not been announced yet.
Although this is the only show airing during this timeslot, Sexy Trash still suggests you DVR this one. SNL has been very hit or miss lately (and always), so when it's a "miss," you can fast forward until you see Kristen Wiig's face on your screen. (That's usually a hint that it's a hit...) I repeat - the day this woman leaves, my life is OVER.
The Amazing Race (CBS, Premiere: Sept 26)
Vanessa Williams is hereeeeee (in an Oprah voice) and I couldn't be more excited. While the mysteries/new neighbors are always my least favorite part of the show, I'm sure V.Williams will change my mind. I wish she were playing Whilemina, but I'm sure they tried extra hard to make sure her character was such the other end of the spectrum from Ms. Slater that she will be practically unrecognizable... Whatever. I just want her to be a bitch... Edie's dead, somebody has to fill those heels... (and from the looks of this promo, I think they found the right woman to do it)
So, what's the choice?
What shows will you be DVR'ing and what shows will you be watching live?
Any new/returning shows NOT on the list that you'll be watching??