Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy..

Okay, I don't know that summertime living is "easy" unless you are still in pigtails. Even with summer "vacation" quickly approaching, many of our lives are still just as hectic. And it doesn't help that so many faces we've been welcoming in our home all year are taking vacation of their own, whether it be just for a few months (my Wisteria Lane ladies, the students at Cyprus Rhodes University, those scandalous Upper East Side'ers...) or a permanent one (those islanders who have been "Lost" for so long...). Either way, each year at this time, I go into a seasonal depression.

While most people are getting OUT of their seasonal funk because the sun is finally coming out to play, I'm getting IN mine, because well, all of my shows go on break. But what can cheer a boy up?

Summer television.

It's trashy. Most of it doesn't last because usually, it's not that high in quality. But if it DOES last long, it's a treat. And if it doesn't... ehh, who cares... it's still three months of fun.

Last year, I was introduced to one of the best things that ever happened to me, "Harper's Island." And while there's no way for it to make a return - (ratings sucked and everybody died) - I will still always hold a special place in my heart for it.. And it helps that I have it on DVD.

While Entertainment Weekly and Justin Guarini on the TV Guide Channel can inform you about ALL of the new/returning summer shows, I'm only telling you about the ones I plan on watching. So if you want to read about more than 7 shows, go elsewhere.

Could I have bumped my list up to 10? Sure, but I don't want to watch 10. I only want to watch 7. Could I have knocked it down to 5? Sure, but again - I can't think of two that I want to cut out.. I want 7, and I'm getting 7.


The Hard Times of RJ Berger (June 6, MTV)

What's being tagged as "Hung" for the younger set, "The Hard Times..." focuses on a high school nerd is relatively unnoticed until he is pants'ed and everyone sees his manhood. His rather large manhood. It's then that everyone begins to notice him and wants to be around him. I've heard this plot before. I call it "last weekend."

Pretty Little Liars (June 8, ABC Family)

I know I did a little write up about this show already, but that was my list of my two favorite shows in general. This is my list of "Must Watch Summer TV." So, it is not necessary to go over the plot again because you can go back a few posts and read it if you'd like. What I will say is I'm excited to see the girl that plays the dead bitch, and if she is anything less than brilliantly wicked, I'm contacting ABC Family. With death threats.

Hot in Cleaveland (June 16, TV Land)

For all five of you that have ever seen Lisa Kudrow's fake reality show, "The Comeback," the plot synopsis sounds exactly like the show's fake sitcom, "Room and Bored" except with a much older cast. For those of you totally unfamiliar with that reference... first of all, I don't need to seeee that. Get some taste. Second - it's a group of successful LA women living in a house with Betty White as a much older nosey landlady.

The Gates (June 20, ABC)

It's being described as "Desperate Housewives" with vampires. I like "Desperate Housewives." I like vampires. I'm in.


Big Brother (July 8, CBS)

While third time was NOT the charm for me "Big Brother"-wise, I am still excited to watch this train wreck of a show... While the show could have been better with me as a house guest (I auditioned three times...what is it going to take?), I'm still excited for the backstabbing, back dooring, and twists. With us "Expecting the unexpected," I am constantly on the edge of my seat watching this show. However, with no Showtime II, I won't be able to watch Big Brother After Dark this summer. Is it time for me to finally dish up some cash for live feeds? We'll see how much I like the cast...

This season, the schedule changes to a Weds/Thurs/Sun schedule, each at 8 p.m. Julie Chen hosts (minus her pregnant belly).

Covert Affairs (July 13, USA) 

I have never watched ANYTHING on USA, and I'm not happy about giving this a chance. However, it's a pretty blonde girl working as a spy for some agency... so naturally, I'm just pretending it's Veronica Mars all grown up. If I can't get a VM movie, I can at least get this USA rip-off.


Bachelor Pad (August 9, ABC)

"The Bachelor" ("Bachelorette?" ...I don't watch it, so I have no idea which one is airing right now) is ending late July, so how will ABC tickle your taste buds with all things Bacheor? Ohhh, by ripping off of every cable channel with reality shows, of course! We've seen all the dating shows on VH1 (or maybe we haven't, but we know they exist), and we also heard about "I Love Money" where said contestants from said dating shows return to compete for money. MTV has "Real World" and documents the daily lives of strangers, but then brings back fan favorites to compete for money. Well, ABC has heard our prayers and is answering them. Fan favorites (and un-favorites) from previous seasons will be back this summer for a "Big Brother"-style game, except one night a week instead of three and with Bachelor outcasts as its stars. I've never watched "The Bachelor" in my life, but I DO watch "Big Brother" and I WILL be watching this.

Seeing as most of my write ups of these shows are just "________" meets "_________" or "a spin off of ________" or "a rip off of ___________," it's not hard to see summer television is NOT about creativity. But who asked for creativity? It's summer; TV creators need a vacation, too. So, take off your shoes, sip on a margarita (keep sipping until these shows are actually good), and keep watching. I know I'll be doing all of those.


  1. Oh I'm excited Summer 2010...bring on the vampires, Betty White, and Julie Chen!

  2. can't wait for hot in cleveland... always wanted room and bored to be made into a real show!