Monday, February 1, 2010

It's Award Show Season, Bitchesss


The nominees for the Razzie Awards were announced today, which award the WORST of the entertainment world. Below, I listed the nominees for each category and bolded who I think should "win".

WORST PICTURE OF 2009
"All About Steve"
"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
"Land of the Lost"
"Old Dogs""
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

I can proudly say I have not seen ANY of these movies. With that said, "All About Steve"...I wanted to see, but just didn't get around to it. "Old Dogs" looked a hot ass mess and not one part of me wanted to see it. So let's just say based on trailers alone, "Old Dogs" takes the cake.

WORST ACTOR OF 2009
All Three Jonas Brothers, "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"
Will Ferrell, "Land of the Lost"
Steve Martin, "Pink Panther 2"
Eddie Murphy, "Imagine That"
John Travolta, "Old Dogs"


The Jonas Brothers movie wasn't acting, you assface. Another win for "Old Dogs." I have nothing against Travvy. I love him as the fat mom in "Hairspray"...

WORST ACTRESS Of 2009
Beyonce, "Obsessed"
Sandra Bullock, "All About Steve"
Myley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Megan Fox, "Jennifer’s Body" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Sarah Jessica Parker, "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

Beyonce in "Obsessed"?? Really? These bitches are crazy. AND WE WON'T EVEN PRETEND TO F'ING SEE MEGAN FOX IN "JENNIFER'S BODY" ON THIS LIST. Like, REALLY.

WORST SCREEN COUPLE OF 2009
Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, "The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience"
Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, "All About Steve"
Will Ferrell and any co-star, Creature or "Comic Riff," "Land of the Lost"
Shia Lebouf and either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Kristin Stewart and either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner, "Twilight Saga: New Moon"


I do love "New Moon," but I also know terrible acting when I see it. And terrible acting comes in the form of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. ...But don't you even dare give an award to TayTay Baby.

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OF 2009
Candice Bergen, "Bride Wars"
Ali Larter, "Obsessed"
Sienna Miller, "G.I. Joe"
Kelly Preston,"Old Dogs"
Julie White, "Transformers 2"


Why so much "Obsessed" hate? Sorry, Sienna...

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR OF 2009
Billy Ray Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Hugh Hefner (as himself), "Miss March"
Robert Pattinson, "Twilight Saga: New Moon"
Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), "Land of the Lost"
Marlon Wayans, "G.I. Joe"


I'm glad they learned from their mistakes and TayTay isn't in this category. I also love that they have RPattz as supporting. Damn right. It's all about Jacob.

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (COMBINED CATEGORY FOR 2009)
"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
"Land of the Lost"
"Pink Panther 2"
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
"Twilight Saga: New Moon"

Yes. I saw the first one. Queen B was in it. But was a sequel necessary? No. And for that reason, I didn't see it.

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE (3 SPECIAL 30TH RAZZIE-VERSARY AWARDZ)
"Battlefield Earth" (2000) -- Nominated for 10 Razzies, "winner" of 8 (including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Years)
"Freddy Got Fingered" (2001) -- Nominated for nine Razzies, "winner" of five
"Gigli" (2003) -- Nominated for 10 Razzies, winner of seven (including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Years)
"I Know Who Killed Me" (2007) -- Nominated for nine Razzies, "winner" of eight
"Swept Away" (2002) -- Nominated for nine Razzies, "winner" of five


This movie was just plain bad. Entertainingly bad, but bad. Let's reward it.

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE
Ben Affleck -- (Nominated for nine "achievements,"winner" of two Razzies) "Daredevil," "Gigli," "Jersey Girl," "Paycheck," "Pearl Harbor," "Surviving Christmas"
Eddie Murphy -- (Nominated for 12 "achievements," "winner" of three Razzies) "Adventures of Pluto Nash," "I Spy," "Imagine That," "Meet Dave," "Norbit," "Showtime"
Mike Myers -- (Nominated for four "achievements," "winner" of two Razzies), "Cat in the Hat," "The Love Guru"
Rob Schneider -- (Nominated for six "achievements," "winner" of one Razzie) "The Animal," "Benchwarmers," "Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo," "Grandma's Boy," "The Hot Chick," "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry," "Little Man," "Little Nicky"
John Travolta -- (Nominated for six "achievements," "winner" of the Razzies) "Battlefield Earth," "Domestic Disturbance," "Lucky Numbers," "Old Dogs," "Swordfish"

I loved Austin Powers back in the day, but my Mike Myers love ends there.


WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE
Mariah Carey – (The Single Biggest Individual Vote Getter of the Decade: 70+% Of ALL Votes For Worst Actress Of 2001), "Glitter"
Paris Hilton (Nominated for five "Achievements," "Winner" of four Razzies) "The Hottie & The Nottie," "House of Wax," "Repo: The Genetic Opera"
Lindsay Lohan -- (Nominated for five "achievements," "winner" of three Razzies) "Herbie Fully Loaded," "I Know Who Killed Me," "Just My Luck"
Jennifer Lopez -- (Nominated for nine "achievements," "winner" of two Razzies) "Angel Eyes," "Enough," "Gigli," "Jersey Girl," "Maid in Manhattan," "Monster-in-Law," "The Wedding Planner"
Madonna -- (Nominated for six "achievements," "winner" of four Razzies) "Die Another Day," "The Next Best Thing," "Swept Away"

Make your father proud, LiLo. You know... the dad I hang out with.

Who do you think should "win" from this list???

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