Thursday, February 11, 2010


The object of my affection/Hollywood look-a-like/future husband is no longer a child. While I once had to hide my feelings for him so I wasn't labled a child predator, I am now able to walk down the road and shout the things I'd like to do with Taylor Lautner for all to hear.

(NOTE: Although I should have hid my feelings for him when he was underage, I did not. Sorry. Put me in prison. I do not care. I'd rather go to jail for life in exhange for one night of fun with TayTay than to never have my way.)

Now, when I say I lusted after him when he underage, I DO NOT mean his Sharkboy days...

Yikes. Not okay...

Anyway, here at Sexy Trash, we are having a birthday party for TayTay. Invite only, of course.

And although we wish we could be watching him in Valentine's Day, we'll suck it up and wait and just settle for wearing our Team Jacob T-shirt and drinking out of our Team Jacob water bottle. And looking at shirtless pictures. I wish I was kidding, but alas... this is the truth.

Oh, sorry, Bella... You aren't invited. First of all, we know how you ruin birthdays (see below). Second, you have horrible taste in men. This chisled, tan 18 YEAR OLD STUD is throwing himself at you and you choose a pale, nasty bodied 300 year old piece of shit (who is just as ugly in real life).


Now that you are 18, I am one step closer to living the American Dream.
You will have to pay for our house, though, because you have more money than me.
We can listen to all the Taylor Swift music you'd like...

PS - Did I mention people tell me I look like him ALL.THE.TIME?
Be right back. Going to stare into the mirror and listen to the Twilight sountrack...


  1. Fanática por Taylor LautnerDecember 3, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    CASA COMIGO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. NÃO CASES COM ELA !!! CASA COMIGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. I'll marry you!

  4. Não isto é um sonho vamos marcar um encontro vou já falar com o padre!!!!!

  5. Fanática por Taylor LautnerDecember 3, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    Vou contar aos meus pais!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Como vais contar aos teus pais? Quem vai casar sou eu!!!!

  7. Fanática por Taylor LautnerDecember 3, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    Tu?? Taylor vais casar comigo certo?

  8. You guys are totally crazy! I did not marry any. I'm getting married and having children with my baby (a bit ugly) Taylor Swift

  9. Our marriage ended, Taylor Lautner (a bit ugly)

  10. Não acredito ! Traidor tinhas uma namorada quase casada e querias casar comigo! Acabou!

  11. We can not stop a thing that did not start Carmelinda (very ugly)

  12. Fanática por Taylor LautnerDecember 3, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    Se tu não queres casar , caso eu!