Sunday, February 28, 2010

Valentine's Day

Critics tore this movie a new asshole, and were not gentle about it. Like they tore it in a hardcore porn way. They were rough. I still went to see it, knowing full well I never agree with critics and that I would love it. I was wrong, critics were right. I love "Crash," "Love Actually," "He's Just Not That Into You," and any other movie with random plot lines of characters you fall in love with tied together somehow.

However... when they DON'T tie together and you don't get enough time to fall in love with any of them, you end up with... well, "Valentine's Day."

The "main?" storyline follows Ashton Kutcher as he proposes to Jessica Alba. She says yes, but decides against it...ending her part in the movie. She's literally in a scene or two. And while some of the movies mentioned above have minor characters like this that work, it seems that MOST of the characters/storylines in "Valentine's Day" are like this.

While I will NEVER complain about seeing Taylor Lautner on any screen, his part was even less needed than Alba's and he and Taylor Swift were obviously thrown in to get tween girls (and me) to go see the movie. It worked, but I wasn't happy with his 10 lines that had not a damn thing to do with any of the storylines.

I feel like there was a good movie in there somewhere, but I couldn't find it. Yes, it has some good laughs (mostly with Jessica Biel, who is fantastic and underrated), but overall... I'd rather just watch "Love Actually" and pretend it takes place on Valentine's Day instead of Christmas.

...All of that said, I will buy it when it comes out on DVD. I can't help it. Bright colors, love stories, and Taylor Lautner will always rope me in.

Dear John

Before we begin, I just want to say I love all of the hyped up Nicholas Sparks movies - A Walk to Remember, The Notebook... that's basically it. I hated Nights in Rodanthe or whatever the hell it was called. Hated it. But the two I mentioned... loved. Also, I only ever read two Nicholas Sparks novels... A Walk to Remember and Dear John. Loved them both. I think Nicholas Sparks is a sick, sick man who hates love, but I still enjoy his books.


The movie was good. Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum had great chemistry, and although I knew what happens from the book, I wanted their relationship to work out. Let it be said now that, "Big Love" aside, I will watch (and enjoy) ANYTHING that Seyfried stars in... I'm nervous for her new movie, "Letters to Juliet," but I'll give it a try. However, this book didn't really work as a movie. Or not the movie they turned it into. I liked the movie, and I will be buying it, but the book is so fantastic, and they just made so many unnecessary changes and made it practically a whole different story... one I'm not sure I enjoyed.

Without giving things away, the ending was drastically changed (for the a semi-happy ending), and while some female audience members may have enjoyed this ending over the book's more depressing ending, I did not. When I go into a Nicholas Sparks movie, I know what I'm paying for: I'll watch two people fall in love and then their relationship ends (usually because one of them, or both of them, dies). I pay my money, buy my popcorn and sit down, knowing that I'll cry over my large soda as the couple is torn apart, but their love is strong. So when "Dear John" threw in a half ass Hollywood ending in the last two seconds of the film, I didn't really appreciate it.

This sounds like my first negative blog, and while my words may seem like I didn't enjoy the movie (like the rest of America), I really did. But if I had to choose between the book and the movie, I would 100% choose the book.

I'm Pretty Sure I Saw This Already... On The Big Screen

Hannah Montana will be ending in March after 4 seasons. Take out the tissues now, and please pass them my way. While children's television programs will NEVER compare to 90's kids shows (Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Kids Incorporated...need I go on?), Hannah Montana is actually one of the better kids shows on TV right now. But not for long. The finale is scheduled to air on March 7 (part 1) with part 2 on March 14.

HOWEVER if you purchase "Goodbye Miley" on DVD (Both parts of the finale), you can have it on March 9.. viewing it 5 days before the cheap asses who choose to just watch it on TV. (I'll be one of those cheap asses, ps.)

With that said... this plot (Miley sick of being Hannah, blah blah, Crowley Corners) is a lot like the movie, which I think should have been the end of the series. When you have a movie on big screens, it's hard to go back to TV afterwards and be just as good (just ask "Doug")...

Anyway, I'm just glad they are giving it a proper finale unlike most kids shows that just end randomly. I'll be watching. Make me proud, Miley.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

We are the World youtube cover

I could watch unknown people sing cover songs on Youtube until my ears bleed. I've met many of my future spouses this way: Nick Pitera, Brandon Webman, Meryl Webman, the list goes on...

I just love cover songs. Me and my best friend since elementary school always wanted to start an Ace of Base cover band, but the fact that she only plays the violin, I don't play anything, and Ace of Base only has 5 singles has stopped us... HOWEVER, it didn't stop me from enjoying cover music from Youtube stars around the world.

What I also love is when well known artists do cover songs. I JUST LOVE COVER SONGS, ok? So when everyone and their mom *minus Beyonce, Alicia, and Gaga* teamed up to do "We Are The World," you can imagine my tears and goosebumps. Loved. It.

But THEN I come across a COVER of that COVER. By Youtube Stars.


Like, everything I ever dreamt of in life in one place. Including my baby, Nick Pitera. Brandon & Meryl, you are missed..., but congratulations Baby Nick for being asked to be a part of this. You rock your part, give me chills, and yes I cried from this video, also.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Adam LuPone

If you are friends with me in real life or if you know anything about Broadway current events, you know that sometime last year, Patti LuPone (WHY am I blogging about her?!?) stopped one of her songs during a performance of Gypsy to yell at someone who was taking pictures or recording or something. I was outraged. Broadway tickets are FAR from cheap, and this bitch stops the show in the middle of a song and yells at someone?

...Bitch, get it together. And get out of my life.

(PS - my sister is OBSESSED with her. I can't stand her. That's the background story.)

Anyway, this blog is not about that overplayed old broad. No, this is about one of my loves who decided to pull a "LuPone," if you will...

At one of his recent concerts, Adam Lambert stopped a song to tell an audience member to get off of their phone. TMZ has a video:

This is why it's okay that he did it and not LuPone.

1. Let's compare ticket prices for a Broadway performance and an acoustic Adam Lambert concert. I'm just guessing the Lamby tickets were cheaper than a DVD. Just sayin.

2. This was not a Broadway show, so him stopping the song and restarting is not ruining the plot. Old Bitch, however, broke the fourth wall, stopped the play and ruined the play. I would have asked for my money back. (Nevermind. I would actually not ever see anything with her in it, so there would be no money for me to get back.)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

New GLEE footage!!

Recently on Entertainment Tonight, they showed footage from the new Madonna themed episode of Glee, which begins again the middle of April.

I have waited my whole life for Glee to return again, and this makes me even more excited. I think the best thing I've ever witnessed is Rachel in a "Team Finn" shirt. It just makes me realize that I AM Rachel, and I'm really okay with that. (I'm wearing a Team Snooki shirt as I type this and my Team Jacob shirt is laying on my floor. Next up: Team Rachel shirt.)

I'm mad Sue Sylvester is back on my screen so quickly, though. Jane Lynch is amazing, whatever. But I hate her character and just needed a break. However, I'm glad to see a Santana/Brittany/Finn scene because it means more Brittany time. I could totally deal with her being a main character instead of just supporting.

But whether it's Sue, Rachel, or Brittany on my screen... just bring Glee back!! Is it April 15 yet?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Madison de la Garza on the View

I'm hearing a lot of "Desperate Housewives" hate this season. Fine, whatever.
And for some SICK reason, I also hear a lot of hate for Madison de la Garza, who plays Juanita Solis.
I've heard childhood obesity is a serious issue. I heard she is not cute. I've heard worse.
Now...I understand everyone has the right to their opinions. But please be aware your opinion doesn't matter when it comes to my little Latin pudge pop.

I think this girl is the cutest little girl I've ever seen and I say GETTTT ITTTT, MADISONNNNN.

If you want to spread hate about my girl, Maddie... well, then, have fun in Hell.
I heard the devil doesn't like little girls, either.

The Amazing Race Season 16

It's true. I've never watched this show before. And it's true that I was only excited for this season due to the return of Big Brother's Jordeff (Jordan/Jeff). But what's also true is that somewhere between the beginning of the episode and the ending credits, I fell in love with this show.

Jordan (Big Brother 11 winner) and boyfriend Jeff

First of all, while I still plan on being on Big Brother and winning sometime in my life, I also want to be on The Amazing Race. It's a fun and challenging way to see the world, and why not experience it with someone you love? (Big Sexy, I'm talking to you...) Would lme running around the world sweaty, exhausted, and not-so-fabulous-as-usual not be the best TV you've ever seen? Please... it's in the bag.

Now that that's out of the way, let's discuss this season. As I said before, I only set up a season pass of The Amazing Race (now in its 16th season) to see Jeff and Jordan. However, instead of being a Jordeff-centric fan that only cheered for them, I found myself cheering and rooting for a few other teams, as well. And hating a few, also.

Besides Jeff and Jordan, my other favorite team is Dan and Jordan; two brothers, one gay, one straight. I love the way these two interact and it pulls on my heart strings and makes me wish I had a brother. But then I realize that I probably wouldn't get along with a brother, so I go back to being fine not having one and, instead, just enjoy watching these two. Jordan is fantastic, and he has some good one-liners and quips that I hope are on my screen until the finale. I would love a JJ/DJ finale. Probably won't happen, but a boy can wish..

Dan and Jordan

One of Jordan's funnier moments in this episode is when he realizes one of the other teams includes Miss Teen South Carolina because of clips he's seen of her butchering the question portion of the pageant.

If you haven't seen this yet, here you go. And before you thank're welcome. Such as.

But that brings me to Brent and Miss Maps, herself, Caite. I do not like them and want them kicked off immediately. First of all, they are both models... can we look at Brent's face? How is that modeling and I'm sitting at a computer writing about him? I'm better looking than that. Just because I don't have abs... Whatev. Getting them. Speaking of getting things, Caite... get a name. I understand what your mother was trying to do, but it didn't work. Just like your Miss Teen USA answer didn't work. They already had a half hour of penalty time added to them this week for breaking the rules, so one can hope that they mess up again next week and leave our screens for good. Such as.

Fug Face Brent and No Name Caite

Although they had penalty time, Brent & Caite were not the ones to go home. Instead, Dana and Adrian, high school sweethearts who are now married, were the first to go. During a competition where one member of the couple had to cross a 100-yard high wire, Adrian fell twice. While some teams (me, included) would be yelling from the side, Dana watched and cheered him on, saying how proud she was for trying his best. When they were kicked off, I won't lie... I cried. There is just so much love in their marriage, and I hated having to let go of them so early. ...Especially when there are plenty more people who I hate.

Dana and Adrian

I signed up for a season pass on DVR, and I can NOT wait to watch this show week after week. I even plan on watching long after Jeff and Jordan are kicked off (which...let's face it...won't be long. Previews for next week already have me nervy for those two.)

Pictures courtesy of

Thursday, February 11, 2010


The object of my affection/Hollywood look-a-like/future husband is no longer a child. While I once had to hide my feelings for him so I wasn't labled a child predator, I am now able to walk down the road and shout the things I'd like to do with Taylor Lautner for all to hear.

(NOTE: Although I should have hid my feelings for him when he was underage, I did not. Sorry. Put me in prison. I do not care. I'd rather go to jail for life in exhange for one night of fun with TayTay than to never have my way.)

Now, when I say I lusted after him when he underage, I DO NOT mean his Sharkboy days...

Yikes. Not okay...

Anyway, here at Sexy Trash, we are having a birthday party for TayTay. Invite only, of course.

And although we wish we could be watching him in Valentine's Day, we'll suck it up and wait and just settle for wearing our Team Jacob T-shirt and drinking out of our Team Jacob water bottle. And looking at shirtless pictures. I wish I was kidding, but alas... this is the truth.

Oh, sorry, Bella... You aren't invited. First of all, we know how you ruin birthdays (see below). Second, you have horrible taste in men. This chisled, tan 18 YEAR OLD STUD is throwing himself at you and you choose a pale, nasty bodied 300 year old piece of shit (who is just as ugly in real life).


Now that you are 18, I am one step closer to living the American Dream.
You will have to pay for our house, though, because you have more money than me.
We can listen to all the Taylor Swift music you'd like...

PS - Did I mention people tell me I look like him ALL.THE.TIME?
Be right back. Going to stare into the mirror and listen to the Twilight sountrack...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

"Sweet Little Lies"

While you may have fun reading the texts from my phone, here at SexyTrash, I do more than watch movie previews and plan which celebrities to sleep with, talk to, or kill. I have to do things to make me a better person. No, I don't feed the homeless or clean up roadsides. But I do challenge my brain. By reading.

No, I'm not reading Pride & Prejudice or the book that "Clueless" was based on, but I am reading other pieces of classic literature... such as Lauren Conrad ("LC" for all you Laguna/Hills fans)'s new book, Sweet Little Lies.

Sweet Little Lies is the follow-up to Conrad's first book, L.A. Candy, and is the second out of the three book series. Let's not even get into the fact that I was supposed to go to her book signing today, but Mother Nature is a bitch, so I am left snowed in and blogging about her book instead of meeting her. Whatever.

Without giving too much away and ruining the first book plot-wise, I can say that Sweet Little Lies is based loosely on Conrad's life on camera. When Jane Roberts and her best friend since childhood, Scarlett, move to L.A, they are cast as part of a new reality show, L.A. Candy. The show is described as a "reality version of Sex and the City" and follows Jane, Scarlett and another set of BFFs: Madison and Gaby.

Jane, who is based on Conrad, must juggle the two men in her life, Jesse and Braden, while she also juggles her friendship, work, and filming. (PS, if you can't tell... Jesse = Jason and Braden = Brody. Conrad doesn't do a great job hiding these things...)

One of the other girls on the show, Madison, is based not-too-loosely on Heidi, who is just out to gain fame and will backstab anyone to get her way.

Scarlett and Gaby are, I believe, loosely based on Audrina and Lo, but it's not so cut and paste as the other characters.

I read L.A. Candy this summer while lounging on the deck of my pool and sipping mojitos. It's the perfect summer read. Fluffy, fun and full of drama. While summer may be over, you can still lay in a warm bath and sip on a cosmopolitan (or boxed wine... or add some vodka to your diet soda) to read the follow-up. It's a great "snowed in" read, and if I hadn't read it already (in less than a day), I would be reading it right now.

I watched the show, read the book, and now I can't wait to see the movie...

That's right. L.A. Candy is going to be a movie. But I'll save piece of information for another post...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Edge of Darkness

I love Jewish people. Zac Efron is Jewish. A lot of my best friends are Jewish. In high school, I wanted to convert to Judaism. So when Mel Gibson went on Anti Semitic kick a few years back, I swore I was done with him. Not that I was ever a Gibson-ite before that... I don't really know that I ever liked any of his movies, actually. But either way, from then on, I decided I would be swearing off Mel Gibson. Just like I swore off Chris Brown last year when you-know-what happened. Well, I own the new Chris Brown CD and like it (although Rihanna's new CD is so much better. She wins.) And last night I saw the new Mel Gibson movie, "Edge of Darkness."

To be fair... I only saw the movie so that my blog could finally have a negative review. So far, all of the movies I review are the same: "Loved it! I...can't... Meryl/Amy Adams/The black princess/Kristen Bell was AMAZING." But I wanted to come on Sexy Trash and write mean things about the movie and Mel Gibson.

Uh oh.

I liked it a lot. I won't say love, but I did like it a lot.

When Boston detective Thomas Craven (Gibson)'s daughter, Emma, comes home to visit, she is seemingly ill, and as they are leaving the house to go to the hospital, she says, "Dad, I have something to tell you." And with that, a car passes by and shoots her, leaving her dead.

He sets out to find her killer, which leads to many secrets and conspiracys, both corporate and political. Never knowing who to trust, he finds he'll have to figure this one out by himself. Which is good, since most of the people that lend their hand are either against him or end up dead... Yikes.

I don't want to give any more away, but many times during the movie I was screaming, "OH SHIT" and turning my head quickly. I probably won't buy this movie, but I may suggest to my dad for a Netflix viewing.

Let it be known that I still do not like Mel Gibson as a person, and I won't be in the passenger seat of his drunk bus anytime soon, but as for the movie, I liked it..

Oscar nominations

Oscar nominations were announced today, and although those blue f-ers are going to win everything, I will say who I want to win. Cause my opinion is what matters the most, if you didn't know. Most of my choices won't win, but I don't really care.
Best Picture

The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
A Serious Man
Up in the Air

I didn't see a lot of these films, but I DID see "Precious," and from the moment the movie started, I was hooked and I knew I was watching something special. The movie touched me, and obvi by its Oscar nomination, it touched many others. If you haven't seen it yet, please do ASAP. Like most books-to-movies, "Push" is better than the movie, but that does not mean for one second that the movie is anything less than fantastic.

Best Animated Feature

Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells

In what is possibly the saddest first ten minutes of any movie EVER, "Up" hooks you from the start and holds you until the end. While some plot points may be over kids' heads, the love story in this film really pulls at the heart strings of the adult viewers, which, in turn, makes them pull at the tissues in their pockets. Good crys, good laughs, a great movie.

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart
George Clooney in Up in the Air
Colin Firth in A Single Man
Morgan Freeman in Invictus
Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker

I will be honest. I didn't see this movie. But I'm not voting for anything called "Crazy Heart." Sorry...

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side
Helen Mirren in The Last Station
Carey Mulligan in An Education
Gabourey Sidibe in Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia

Another movie I didn't see, but I like Sandra Bullock just fine. And everyone that DID see this movie is practically shitting over her performance, so why not? Home girl deserves something after the monstrosity that was "All About Steve."

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Matt Damon in Invictus
Woody Harrelson in The Messenger
Christopher Plummer in The Last Station
Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds

Stanley Tucci totally transformed from the fun, flamboyant Tucci that we have become used to from "Devil Wears Prada" and "Shall We Dance" into the sick monster in "The Lovely Bones." So much so, in fact, that I don't want him to win a damn thing for his performance. I hated him in that movie, and that made me hate him in real life. But I just have to remind myself that it is just a movie. It is just a movie...

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Penelope Cruz in Nine
Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal in Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air
Mo'Nique in Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire

MO F'ING NIQUE. End of story.

Best Original Song

"The Weary Kind" from Crazy Heart
"Take It All" from Nine
"Loin de Paname" from Paris 36
"Almost There" from The Princess and the Frog
"Down in New Orleans" from The Princess and the Frog

I doubt a song from "Princess and the Frog" will win. It will probably be stupid ass "Crazy Heart," but this song is so catchy and cute and uplifting. I listen to it on my iPod everyday and it brings a smile to my face and a pep in my step everytime.

...obviously this isn't all of the cateogries. It's just the ones I care about.

For a full list, go to the official nomination page.

The Oscars will air Sunday, March 7 at 8 pm on ABC.

Who do you want to win an Oscar??

Monday, February 1, 2010

It's Award Show Season, Bitchesss

The nominees for the Razzie Awards were announced today, which award the WORST of the entertainment world. Below, I listed the nominees for each category and bolded who I think should "win".

"All About Steve"
"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
"Land of the Lost"
"Old Dogs""
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

I can proudly say I have not seen ANY of these movies. With that said, "All About Steve"...I wanted to see, but just didn't get around to it. "Old Dogs" looked a hot ass mess and not one part of me wanted to see it. So let's just say based on trailers alone, "Old Dogs" takes the cake.

All Three Jonas Brothers, "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"
Will Ferrell, "Land of the Lost"
Steve Martin, "Pink Panther 2"
Eddie Murphy, "Imagine That"
John Travolta, "Old Dogs"

The Jonas Brothers movie wasn't acting, you assface. Another win for "Old Dogs." I have nothing against Travvy. I love him as the fat mom in "Hairspray"...

Beyonce, "Obsessed"
Sandra Bullock, "All About Steve"
Myley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Megan Fox, "Jennifer’s Body" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Sarah Jessica Parker, "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

Beyonce in "Obsessed"?? Really? These bitches are crazy. AND WE WON'T EVEN PRETEND TO F'ING SEE MEGAN FOX IN "JENNIFER'S BODY" ON THIS LIST. Like, REALLY.

Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, "The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience"
Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, "All About Steve"
Will Ferrell and any co-star, Creature or "Comic Riff," "Land of the Lost"
Shia Lebouf and either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Kristin Stewart and either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner, "Twilight Saga: New Moon"

I do love "New Moon," but I also know terrible acting when I see it. And terrible acting comes in the form of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. ...But don't you even dare give an award to TayTay Baby.

Candice Bergen, "Bride Wars"
Ali Larter, "Obsessed"
Sienna Miller, "G.I. Joe"
Kelly Preston,"Old Dogs"
Julie White, "Transformers 2"

Why so much "Obsessed" hate? Sorry, Sienna...

Billy Ray Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Hugh Hefner (as himself), "Miss March"
Robert Pattinson, "Twilight Saga: New Moon"
Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), "Land of the Lost"
Marlon Wayans, "G.I. Joe"

I'm glad they learned from their mistakes and TayTay isn't in this category. I also love that they have RPattz as supporting. Damn right. It's all about Jacob.

"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
"Land of the Lost"
"Pink Panther 2"
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
"Twilight Saga: New Moon"

Yes. I saw the first one. Queen B was in it. But was a sequel necessary? No. And for that reason, I didn't see it.

"Battlefield Earth" (2000) -- Nominated for 10 Razzies, "winner" of 8 (including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Years)
"Freddy Got Fingered" (2001) -- Nominated for nine Razzies, "winner" of five
"Gigli" (2003) -- Nominated for 10 Razzies, winner of seven (including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Years)
"I Know Who Killed Me" (2007) -- Nominated for nine Razzies, "winner" of eight
"Swept Away" (2002) -- Nominated for nine Razzies, "winner" of five

This movie was just plain bad. Entertainingly bad, but bad. Let's reward it.

Ben Affleck -- (Nominated for nine "achievements,"winner" of two Razzies) "Daredevil," "Gigli," "Jersey Girl," "Paycheck," "Pearl Harbor," "Surviving Christmas"
Eddie Murphy -- (Nominated for 12 "achievements," "winner" of three Razzies) "Adventures of Pluto Nash," "I Spy," "Imagine That," "Meet Dave," "Norbit," "Showtime"
Mike Myers -- (Nominated for four "achievements," "winner" of two Razzies), "Cat in the Hat," "The Love Guru"
Rob Schneider -- (Nominated for six "achievements," "winner" of one Razzie) "The Animal," "Benchwarmers," "Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo," "Grandma's Boy," "The Hot Chick," "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry," "Little Man," "Little Nicky"
John Travolta -- (Nominated for six "achievements," "winner" of the Razzies) "Battlefield Earth," "Domestic Disturbance," "Lucky Numbers," "Old Dogs," "Swordfish"

I loved Austin Powers back in the day, but my Mike Myers love ends there.

Mariah Carey – (The Single Biggest Individual Vote Getter of the Decade: 70+% Of ALL Votes For Worst Actress Of 2001), "Glitter"
Paris Hilton (Nominated for five "Achievements," "Winner" of four Razzies) "The Hottie & The Nottie," "House of Wax," "Repo: The Genetic Opera"
Lindsay Lohan -- (Nominated for five "achievements," "winner" of three Razzies) "Herbie Fully Loaded," "I Know Who Killed Me," "Just My Luck"
Jennifer Lopez -- (Nominated for nine "achievements," "winner" of two Razzies) "Angel Eyes," "Enough," "Gigli," "Jersey Girl," "Maid in Manhattan," "Monster-in-Law," "The Wedding Planner"
Madonna -- (Nominated for six "achievements," "winner" of four Razzies) "Die Another Day," "The Next Best Thing," "Swept Away"

Make your father proud, LiLo. You know... the dad I hang out with.

Who do you think should "win" from this list???

Preview in Review

5. Oceans

Okay, the documentaries are starting to become a little too much. On LOGO or on Animal Planet or some shit, fine. But on the big screeen? Can't they take this out of theaters to put "Valentine's Day" on another screen? I mean... I will watch "Babies" when it's on DVD, but it's not necessary in theaters. And who is going to see "Oceans" besides science classes?

4. Alice in Wonderland

Before I saw previews, I really wanted to see this. Now that I saw previews, not so much. And it made me remember how much I don't like the cartoon. By Disney. I mean, I LOVED "Adventures in Wonderland" on the Disney Channel, but the cartoon... Eat Me. Just like those candies that make you tiny or whatever the f they were. So just because they re-do it with real people does not make me like it any better... What they SHOULD be re-making with real people is "The Little Mermaid." Perhaps "Aladdin." Or "Lilo and Stitch." How CUTE would that my little Latin Pudge Pop from "Desperate Housewives" be as Lilo?? WHAT DISNEY CARTOONS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE RE-MADE LIVE ACTION AND WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE CAST?!

3. Macgruber

This is going to be awful. I don't even like the 2 minute scenes on SNL. But I will still be in theaters seeing this. Anything with Kristen Wiig has my $10.50 (or at least I'll sneak in.)

2. An Education

I can't really tell what this is about. She has an affair with an old guy or something. Whatev. Gettttt itttt, old man. But Dominic Cooper is some fun eye candy. And it looks dramatic, which will be a nice change of pace after seeing "Macgruber" and.....

1. Death at a Funeral

This looks fantastic. And for the first time since "Dreamgirls," it's a mostly black cast that doesn't have Tyler Perry attatched. I'm in. ...Apparantly it's a remake of a white people movie from 2007? Sure...

When in Rome

While "Avatar" may have been #1 in the box office AGAIN, it was in no thanks to me. And I'm not apologizing. Instead, I saw "The Tooth Fairy" and "When in Rome," instead. And I'm not apologizing for that, either.

"When in Rome" is not life changing, nor is it unpredictable. What it IS, however, is approximately an hour and a half of good laughs and a cute story. For the most part, the movie is just an extended trailer, but I like the trailer for "When in Rome," so I don't mind.

What's funny, though, is that I like the parts of the movie that don't have to do with the men chasing her a lot better than I like the parts that do. For instance, one scene with Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel at a restaurant like you would find on "Dating in the Dark" is FANTASTIC, and I would love to just watch that scene over and over.

While I wil love Kristen Bell no matter what she does (even marry Dax Shepard..ew..but he is amazingly funny in this movie..), who really shines in this movie is Duhamel, who I never knew could do physical comedy so well. He takes a lot of hits to the face in this movie, and I laughed every time.

Is it the best thing Kristen Bell has her name attatched to? No. (Please... Always remember "Veronica Mars") Is it the best movie out in theaters at the moment? No. But I'd rather spend an hour and a half laughing and watching KBell than doing a lot of other stuff.

Plus, a Napoleon and Pedro reunion is in the movie for a brief scene. Long enough for Napoleon fans to feel appreciated, but short enough for Napoleon haters to get over it and move on.

And not that I mind...but when I was looking up how much money movies made this weekend, I saw that New Moon was still in theaters. Why? It comes out on DVD the end of next month (my birthday, to be exact... so start reserving copies as my gift, bitches).