But what fable is there to teach people the opposite? Turning gold into shit? There hasn't been one.
Mean Girls 2 (which, not surprisingly, will air on ABC Family and be direct-to-DVD), is destined to fail. There are some things that should just NOT be touched. I used to think "Bring It On" was one of these things, but after 4+ direct-to-DVD sequels and a soon-to-be Broadway adaption, I'm giving up on that theory. But "Mean Girls"... No one would ever be stupid enough to touch my "Mean Girls," would they? Sure, bring it to Broadway... I'll be its number one fan (if I'm not playing Regina, obviously; which, clearly, could be a reality...)
But a "SEQUEL," which in reality just seems to be a Z-list less-funny remake, with none of the original stars!? Oh... pardon me - Tim Meadows is back as the principal. Tim Meadows, who CLEARLY has no respect for his previous projects. If he did, he wouldn't sell out for a paycheck, but instead know to say no to protect art. Even Lindsay, who has many, many problems was smart enough to turn this movie down. Mr. Meadows, the last time an original member of a hit decided to return for a spin-off by himself, it was called "Saved By The Bell: The New Class," and we saw how that did. And the time before that? Frenchy in "Grease 2," and again... we've witnessed this.
If it couldn't be told from what was previously stated, I hate everything about this movie.
I hate the poster... which is identical to the original, except with girls not as pretty.
I hate the tag line - "The Plastics are Back!" ....No, bitch - they aren't. Home-schooled jungle freaks who are a less hot version of the Plastics are back.
I hate the trailer - see below. If you WANT your eyes to fall out.
I hate the "stars" - Meghan Martin, first you come after "10 Things I Hate About You" (which, fine... I liked, but didn't need to be done), and now THIS!? Stay away.
I hate the plot - ANTI PLASTICS?! What is going on in the world?!
I JUST HATE IT, OKAY!? I want my pink shirt back.
Yes, I'll probably watch it. But I'll cry the whole time. Cry that the world has come to this. Cry for the world that might have been. And pray, with tears in my eyes, that one day Tina Fey will come back with avengence for the movie that has brought such joy to my life... by bringing "Mean Girls" to Broadway. And she'll turn to me to play Regina. Hell, Tina, if you're reading... I'd even settle for Damien.
What I WON'T settle for is "Mean Girls 2."